- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I’m just bummed lately. I haven’t done much wedding planning at all recently, our invites went out last Tuesday and so far we’ve gotten about 12 back saying yes they’ll be attending. I’m sick of the whole process of wedding planning even though I haven’t done anything in awhile.
I lost 2 of my 4 bridesmaids. One was straight up lying to me for months about having ordered her dress then told me she just doesn’t have the money because she parties too much. Some friend. The other I lost due to unexpected financial and travel issues (I don’t blame her at all for any of this) I’m just sad. My bridal party is now my big sister and an older cousin who I grew up with. My sister is trying her best to plan a bridal shower, which I didn’t even ask for or expect. She’s asked my cousin to give her help and my cousin continually tells her she can’t help her and has no money. My cousin also just showed off her new $2000 Macbook Pro and $150 pair of Uggs to us not even 5 days ago. I feel bad for my sister, I keep telling her I don’t expect anything and she said theres no way in hell she’ll let me go without a shower because I did it for her. :/
I’m so thankful for my sister but I just hate to see her doing this alone. I didn’t ask my bridesmaids to do anything outrageous. They had to pick an AA dress in dark red, any style they wanted at any price point. I don’t care if they go barefoot with orange hair to my wedding as long as they are there. I’m paying for their hair and makeup because I don’t feel they should have to do that for my wedding day. I guess it just hurts a little because I have 2 people who i’ve asked well in advance to be in my wedding and one couldn’t even buy a freaking dress. I feel awful if that last paragraph sounds selfish in anyway.
I also apologize to any bee’s reading this and it’s a jumbled mess. My thoughts are kind of all over the place and the wedding process has gotten me down. Not only that I’m super depressed I got laid off a month ago, I had a bad injury to my ankle 3 weeks ago and I can’t work out at all, my dress needs alterations to start and I’m just not happy with myself.
Thanks to anyone who read this, I just needed to get it all out and thought ladies who might feel the same about things would be the best. Now to take a deep breath, a hot bath and step back from my wedding and relax.