- 1 year ago
- Wedding: August 2019
I guess I just feel like I need to vent or find some way to get excited about my wedding again.
I have had alot of trouble with an overbearing MOB throughout this whole process. From abolsutely hating my venue and trying to force me into booking one that was double my budget, to threatening to create a registry under my name for our engagement party, to refusing to invite my MOH’s parents to the engagement party. It seems to be never ending with my mom. She even said to me “If I say no to you 3 times, you have to give in and compromise with what I want”.
Basically every time I come to a decision about the planning that I have thought through, researched and decided on, she basically craps all over it. You can’t have those as your wedding colours, they are ugly. You designed formal invitations all yourself to save costs? I hate the design, re-do everything! You can’t have your wedding next to an old-folks home, they will ruin the party! You can’t invite those people, I don’t like them, it will ruin the whole wedding for me if they are there! Your fiance wanted you to color your hair back to how it was when you met because it is his favorite? No way. Color your hair the way *I* like it! (I like it the way my fiance does).
She has sucked all the joy out of my planning at this point. I am so anxious and do not even want to continue planning because I know as soon as I choose something, she will hate it and make a big fuss. I noticed today that when I even start to think about wedding planning now, the dread is making me sick to my stomach. I feel like crying! I have tried to cut her out of decisions and not talk to her about alot of things, but she then rants on about how I am not including her and how I am being disrespectful to her by doing this without her.
I am dreading dress shopping because I know that I will walk out of the store crying without a dress. We have tried dress shopping together (not wedding dresses) and almost every time she brings me to tears telling me how ugly I am. If we do get a dress, it is one she forces me to pay for that I do not like. I know bad pattern of behavior but back then I was still living at home.
I could really use some encouragement, advice and help from you Bee’s. How did you deal with really overbearing moms? It is not really an option to completely cut her out of my life, but I dont know what to do at this point. I am trying to talk to her about engagement party details as the party is in 3 weeks, but she is now pouting like a child and refusing to take my calls because I selected registry items with my fiance instead of her!
*Please note: MOB is not contributing financially to the wedding in any way, yet still feels that she should be allowed to make decisions about major things.