(Closed) “I’m not going to ask as long as you keep talking about it”

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Mewcakes: ::hugs:: Hang in there. We all go through that too. It sucks! However, I was on the opposite end of it. J was always talking about it (weddings, marriage, and kids, but not a proposal or ring). So I told him, “Look, I like talking about this stuff, but it’s gotta stop. It hurts because we’re not actually planning a wedding, just talking. I don’t want to talk about it anymore until we’re actively making plans.”

That shut him up… for a while. Eventually I just smiled and nodded whenever he talked about it, and didn’t ‘feed’ the conversation with my opinions, etc.

But yes. JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!! I realize they want the moment to be perfect, and they will be nervous. But come on… We talk about it and think about it… We’re obviously gonna say ‘yes’, you’ve known us for X amount of years. You KNOW us. It’s not like you’re proposing to a stranger. And it will only take two minutes of your time to get those 4 special words out. SO COME ON!!

Annnnd…. Vent over.

Gwen

Post # 4
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Yes this last week has been hard for me and I know the feeling. We had a small blow up about it the other day via text. And I’m just like “here we go again”. We’ve been doing good all year and only talked about it in depth one time which was a good long conversation and I felt great afterwards. Now that it’s June just 2 months shy of our 4 year anniversary I’m getting irritated again. He’s the look at the big picture kind of guy. Keeps saying we know where we’re going (when we’re getting married). Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to at least be engaged for a little while. Geeesh! DO IT ALREADY!!!!

*and scene*

Post # 5
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

absolutely! are you kidding me dude! just because I learn to not talk talk talk about it doesn’t mean it isn’t all I’m thinking about!

I’m past 4 years and no longer care about “talking about it”  =)

I openly look at wedding stuff in front of him. Granted, he has no idea how often or how much =)  but I no longer hide it completely.

He knows now how hard it is for me to not talk about it. But I think it just makes them feel guilty knowing they are keeping us waiting. So I try not to just “put it out there”

Post # 6
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

It is so hard not to talk about it.  Now that we have looked at rings together and picked something out, it’s seriously all I want to talk about. It’s my last day of the school year teaching, and I talked to him for a while on my lunch break like I do every day and it was the most difficult thing not to bring it up. Oh, you’re not busy? Maybe you could get off early to pick up that sparkler.  That’s what I wanted to say.  I held my tongue, but the urge was difficult to suppress.  

Post # 8
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I hear you ladies. I don’t think that guys get how much this drives us crazy waiting for them to propose.I undertand it’s a big deal for them, but it sucks for us not knowing when it will happen or (sometimes) if he even is thinking about it. It’s sooo hard not to say anything when I really want to. Ugh boys sometimes, they just don’t get it.

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It does suck, but some men think that all you care about is the ring and planning a wedding, so they get put off. Some men feel like women get to plan the weddings and they get frustrated that they want to control the proposal too.

If you know he’s going to do it, then let him do his thing. Let him surprise you. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My FH would say to me “for every time you bring it up, I’m adding one month to the wait time”. It would infuriate me. Waiting is so hard, even when you know he’s eventually going to do it.

For me, he waited so long because he wanted to make sure everything was “just right”. He wanted to make sure he could afford and find the ring I wanted, and make sure he had a secure job that could pay the bills. He also splurged on a few big ticket items for himself too (which also totally irritated me….you can afford a $2500 TV but not a ring??), but once all the pieces were in place, he finally felt ready. I feel like it’s this was with a lot of guys. They know they’re going to do it, but it has to be once all their ducks are in a row. Hang in there….you’ll get your sparkly. But know there are tons of us out there who feel/felt your pain!

Post # 11
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

@prettiestpink: oh that is just harsh!!! =(

that is cute though that he wanted all his “ducks in a row” before asking! They are just so nervous about the proposal!

Post # 12
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah they can be silly like that.  But I gave my husband space and stopped talking about it and told him to stop teasing me about it and we ended up fine!

Post # 14
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

OMGG!! i feeeeel your pain !! i blewww up on him through text today. i couldnt take it anymore. this month is like our planned date to be engaged or atleast him coming over to talk to my parents ! and you  know what he said, “why are you rushing things , its gonna happen just let it happen “.. 

 

i hate men someimtes like seriosuly. and to top it off my two frends are getting engaged in two days!!!

 

 

thanx god. no really. thanx…:( 

 

 

il just go stuff my face in some food…. blaaaaa

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