(Closed) I’m not having his or my sisters in the wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I didn’t have my sister or SIL in my bridal party. It’s not selfish to pick those you feel closest to to stand up for you. 

Post # 4
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

In my opinion, you should get to pick who stands up with you, and he can pick who stands with him. If he wants his 5? sisters, they should stand up as groomswomen.

Post # 4
Member
46371 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t have any of my sisters in my first wedding. I have 5 of them and didn’t want hurt feelings so I had 3 girlfriends.

Post # 5
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not selfish.  YOU get to pick your bridal attendants, not your Fiance.  If he wants them in the bridal party, tell him to have them stand on his side.  You’re not choosing his groomsmen, so he shouldn’t choose any of your bridesmaids.

Post # 6
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

If he wants them, they can stand on his side then, no?

I think you should pick who you want. I’m not having my sisters in mine, and I am close with them. I picked my 2 best friends.

Post # 7
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

His sisters can be his best women if he’s so set on them being in the wedding.  

I’m not having any of my 3 sisters nor his sister in our wedding–actually there will be no family at ALL in the wedding.  I’m not even inviting one of my sisters.  There is no requirement that siblings be included.  Honestly, I’d be insulted to be stuck in a wedding party because someone felt obligated.  Being in a wedding is expensive and inconvenient–I only want to do it for people I truly care for.

Even if you were close with all of those sisters–there are TEN OF THEM.  That is like 5 too many for a reasonable wedding party.  Coordinating 10 women regarding clothes, shoes, pre wedding activities–UGH.

Maybe you could have all the siblings and parents up in a section of the ceremony dedicated to them–like a unity ceremony–the officiant requests that parents and siblings (who have been warned ahead of time!) come up to the front and you and your guy light a unity candle together and the officiant says something about combining families.  That way you only have 150 people at the altar for a short amount of time.

You guys are going to have to compromise on this somehow.  That is part of being married.  If he can’t work with you on this, then perhaps he is not ready to be a husband.

Post # 8
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am very close to my sisters and I’m not having a single one of them in my wedding.

If I had my sisters in it, I’d have to have his sister’s/SILs in it also. That’s way too many people. Period. It’s not about them and it’s not their day. It’s yours and Fiance is being unreasonable in forcing this issue.

Besides, where does it end? This is the same reason we are not having flower girls or ring bearers. How do you choose amongst so many without hurting feelings?

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

His sisters can stand on his side, if he wants. You don’t have to have relatives in your wedding party. And the smaller your bridal party (I’m only having 2), the easier it is.

The women closest to you should be standing up there with you.

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