(Closed) I’m not quite sure how to feel about this…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry you are in the position.  This sounds like a red flag to me, like maybe your Fiance is not ready to move in together.  That being said, I do think everyone should live on their own before getting married.   It’s also kind of worrying how you call it the Big Switch with Future Mother-In-Law…. I hope your Fiance knows he is getting a wife and not a mother.  

Post # 5
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well we’re already into October, and it’s still 30 degrees outside, so I’m willing to bet this winter will get a later start.  Weather notwithstanding, wanting to try living on his own is a legitimate request, if even for a few weeks, and trust me, it will be valuable for you in the long run too.  I read your post about how your Future Mother-In-Law essentially expects you to step into the Mommy role when you’re married, and his managing on his own for even a short time will help offset that expectation.  Also, it will allow for a cushion of time so that she can get ALL of her belongings out of the house, and you can move in with a clean slate.  My suggestion would be to humour him, and go along with it.  In fact, spend a little more time at your current home, and sleep there more often to really make him experience the “living alone” thing.  You’ve got less than 2 months until the wedding, so it’s not worth a fight at this point IMO.

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@CherryWaves:Enjoy this time yourself, you have your whole life to live with him.

Post # 8
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I think if my Fiance told me he wanted to try living on his own for a while I would be incredibly hurt but I would understand.  However, logistically speaking, all the reasons you listed make his decision sound really selfish.  What is he going to gain from living alone? Being able to walk around in his underwear, eat crappy things for dinner, and scratch his butt whenever he likes? Or is he going to think, “wow, living without other people is really cool and I’m dreading having my Fiance move in, maybe I should slow things down in our relationship.”

That is just my mindset though.  Obviously you know your Fiance better than anyone.

Post # 10
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s worth exploring if you think there’s more to it than a simple desire to sit around in his underpants and drink beer in front of the TV for a couple weeks between his Mom moving out, and his wife moving in 😉  Do you have a suspicion that he’s getting cold feet about the wedding?  If so, then you absolutely need to bring it up with him.

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@CherryWaves: if you guys are the talk it out kind of people, I don’t see any harm in talking with him about this, and telling him how you feel. It definitely can’t hurt, and I think you would feel better about the situation

Post # 13
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CherryWaves:  It doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about.  Let him have his time alone, and you enjoy yours too!  Watch Say Yes To The Dress marathons, take hour long baths, give yourself mud masks 😛  and cherish your time before you two move in together.  

The topic ‘I’m not quite sure how to feel about this…’ is closed to new replies.

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