(Closed) I’m not sure how to respond, or just wait til she comes around?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

After you go look at venues, email her and tell her what you found and the date that you want.  Then ask her if there will be any scheduling conflicts on her end.  Hopefully she’ll understand and respond in kind.

Post # 4
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@HollyGuinness: I would definitely try to contact her in person/phone conversation–not text of any sort.  Then, if you need to place your deposit on your chosen venue before hers, then I guess you would get the date that yours is available,  then tell her you got your venue on __ date.  What else can you do? 

Post # 5
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

ooooh no!!!! 🙁 I actually in your same situation. one of my roomates is getting married the weekend before and another close friend from college is getting married 3 weeks before… and I set my date before both of them. My only concern is that we all are aware of each others dates and shower dates otherwise everything will be fine! They knew my date and made sure it was not the same date. Thats all that really matters. Its not like you plan anything specifically to hurt a friend, your getting married, you have to set a date and there are things that you need to choose. She needs to be more open minded. 

 

I am sorry you friend is only thinking about herself and not being happy and excited that you are both planning at the same time!

Post # 6
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Have you seen the movie “Bride Wars”?  Haha.

I agree that you two need to speak on the phone, asap!  So much tone can be lost over text messages.  Give her a call!

Post # 7
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@HollyGuinness: One word of advice… If she got engaged first don’t set your date before hers. This happened with me and a friend and I put my wedding a month before hers(after getting engaged a month after)… for money reasons not for anything else. Well this turned into a bad situation for awhile. Why? I have no clue(cough cough Future Sister-In-Law put the thought in her head). But it caused problems.

Just wanted to help you avoid them 🙂 And yes you should talk to her on the phone. It sounds like she is getting defensive over her day.

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Since you guys are friends and both want a Fall wedding, can you meet and decide on dates that are atleast a month apart. That gives you a chance to enjoy your wedding but also be at hers too.

Post # 9
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

fall is 3 months long, so i can’t imagine that there isn’t a way to find conflict-free dates. that said, i would never sit and wait for someone else to set their date. do your thing and if she chooses to use your same date then you know what kind of friend she is.

Post # 10
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Were you guys actually both wanting either of the same two Saturdays?  Just look at your venue, pick your date, and let her know when it is.  She is very obviously not telling you anything because she’s afraid you’re going to copy her.  So, just pick your own date, tell her that’s when it is, and she can either get over it or not come.

Post # 12
Member
11 posts
Newbee

@HollyGuinness: Text messages and e-mails are often taken out of context because the individual on the recieving end are usually reading the message through their own emotions. It’s most definitely better to speak in person or via phone so she hears your tone. 🙂 ~~~GOOD LUCK~~~

Post # 13
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m pretty sarcastic so I always put a “…” at the end of my sarcastic texts. So many people take me out of context. I am super glad to hear that you are going to call her. If you guys are close, then she should be willing to sit down and talk to you about how to make sure your weddings do not conflict. 

Post # 14
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Seriously…just do your thing, and if you overlap or are very close, then that’s just how it is. You can’t sit around and not set your date and wait for her, and you never know how things will pan out. You might go look at venues and they might not have the dates you want and you might have to pick something else out. Just do your thing and tell her what date you chose, once you put down a deposit. That way it is over, done with, and nothing else can change. I might sound callous, but I just don’t think you should let this dictate your wedding. Either that or pick a different month than what she wants and call it a day. It will be fine. Once you both have venues secured and are planning, things will calm down.

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