(Closed) I'm not sure how to take this comment from SOs dad

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well I would hope he isn’t that childish to still be upset about your ‘Wright’ to vote for who you want to vote for. So with that being said maybe he didn’t want to slip up and say the wrong thing, by calling your the Fiance…

Post # 4
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Im with PP.. I’d hope a grown man wouldn’t be so childish as to say that over a political stand point. Hopefully the proposal is coming soon!

Post # 6
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow! Well your boyfriend loves you and you can’t please everyone. It’s messed up and he has to learn to respect you before he lose his son.

Post # 7
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe its a compliment? Maybe he knows you are in a serious relationship, and doesn’t want to use the term girlfriend. Some people think this term sounds childish ( I don’t, but some people think it smacks of middle school) so he said that. I know people use the word partner for serious adult relationships – maybe that’s why he faltered? Not sure which term to use – girlfriend, partner, fiance, better half LOL?

Post # 8
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t know your So’s dad, but I would take the comment with a grain of salt. He kind of sounds like a bit of a jerk 🙁 maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he feels he is losing his son, I don’t know… parents are weird sometimes.

Post # 9
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Well, lesson learned.  Never, ever, EVER discuss politics with your FIL’s, apparently it’s a hot topic for this guy since he banned you from his home over it, which I am completely blown away by, where was your SO when that went down?  A lousy introduction is nothing to be worried over when this man has been so terrible to you in the past, but I would take the bull by the horns at the next opportunity and either introduce myself or have my SO do it so we could avoid that awkwardness in the future.

Post # 10
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s difficult to say what he meant out of context, but lots of people feel like it’s weird to refer to an grown-up in a serious relationship as a girlfriend/boyfriend. Maybe he was fishing around for a better description (Significant Other? Partner?) and finally settled for the juvenile sounding “girlfriend”. And added “I guess” at the end, because he thought it sounded a bit silly and wished he could have called you something more appropriate. That’s my guess, anyway.   

Post # 11
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would be really pissed about that comment too.  He sounds like a jerk though, so I would try not to let it bother me, but I would probably fail. I would be waiting for him to say something stupid like that again so I could call him out next time.

In fact at the time of his horrible awkward comment I most likely would have made things REALLY awkward and laughed and said “YOU GUESS?? HAHAHA WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”, but I am an inappropriate jerk too 😉

Post # 12
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My FFIL asked my FI if he loved me…after we’d been together over 2 years, and engaged for 1.

A year later, and I’m still angry about it!

Your boyfriend’s father sounds as big a jerk.  I’d keep my distance, do the bare minimum to be polite.  He’s not worth stressing over. 

Post # 13
Member
6746 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

If he’s immature enough to ban you from his house for weeks and not talk to you for two weeks, I don’t know why he wouldn’t be immature enough to flat out show his contention for you?  I think it depends on his tone of voice, which you obviously cannot portray online – was he more exasperated or confused sounding?  If he was “confused” maybe he didn’t remember whether to call you fiance or not.  If he was “exasperated,” Id say he just doesn’t like you dating his son.  Sorry!

Post # 14
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@BubbleTea:  Wow how immature, just because you have a different political ideology he banned you from his house? Whaaaat?! LOL…

Just ignore him, try not to fall in his game evening your SO is going to propose you recently, he might get even more mad at you haha so get ready.. Try to ignore his comments, he just has to get used to it..

Post # 15
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BubbleTea:  Eh.  I wouldn’t read too far into it.  My now husband and I dated for 8 years and my Dad would introduce to him people as “Jemma’s… friend???”  Almost as if he was unsure of what to say.  I’m actually laughing right now just thinking about it.  My Dad is silly!  Point is, we never really read into it, I know it wasn’t a case of my Dad not liking him or approving of our relationship.

The other stuff though, him forbidding you to the house… that’s a little crazy.  That’s when your BF needs to step in and tell his old man to lay off and treat you with some respect.

 

Post # 16
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My FI and I dated four almost four years before we got engaged, and his mother never introduced me as anything other than his ‘friend’ until after we were officially engaged. I wouldn’t take it personally. You’ve talked to your SO and that’s all you can do for now. That, and don’t talk politics with his family!

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