- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
As a child, and as a teenager, I had this idea of the way that engagements and weddings should go. This was mentioned in another post I think… but I digress… Anyway. The guy and girl get engaged, they tell the family, everyone is thrilled, planning ensues, people are involved, the wedding is woderful, everyone is happy, women cry as the bride and groom say their vows…etc. That perfect little picture has been totally ruined for me.
No one, and I mean, no one cares. All save Future Mother-In-Law, but because of her illness hasn’t been in contact with me. My mother isn’t happy. My stepdad isn’t happy. No one is happy. I know that no one is ever as excited as you are about your wedding, but I expected at least some emotion, other than obvious disdain. The few people that know are only excited because we’re waiting to buy a ring and I guess everyone is hoping that we will break up or call off the wedding. For this reason, I haven’t made it very public. I also don’t want to buy a dress, spend time and effort into DIY projects for 5 people to show up. My parents don’t really like Fiance. Not because he’s a bad guy, but because he looks like a mountain man. He’s got this horrible beard, and super long hair that stays in his face most of the time. And yes, it irritates the crap out of me that he won’t shave or cut his hair. Petty? Yes. But it would make my life so much easier when dealing with my parents. They don’t take him seriously, and in turn, I get all kinds of hell about it. There’s also the issue of money. Fiance was counting on a grant to pay for college classes so he could save some of his paycheck to go towards the bills that we’ll have as well as some things for the wedding, like my ring. However, since the system is so wonderful, Fiance will not be recieving squat, despite the fact that Fiance has been living on his own and paying ALL of his bills for 4 years and even though his parents haven’t claimed him on their insurance for the past 2, his parent’s income is also counted and therefor, he gets nothing. Which, I’m sure most people already know, but it still pisses me off. And of course, he doesn’t qualify to get private grants because he has no credit : D Fantastic. The last 2 years of me telling him that one day he would need credit, and now he does, but did he listen? No. I also haven’t lost any weight. And while I have a year and half to go, I’d like to buy a dress soon, when I know there will be sales.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have the pretty white dress and all the cheer and joy that comes along with a wedding, but I just don’t know if I’ll get it. I know, my wedding is over a year away, but time is flying by a lot faster than I thought it would, and I just don’t forsee anything changing, at least not with my family.
I feel like a kid throwing a tantrum, and it feels stupid for me to feel this way. But really. I’ve found it difficult to be excited about this wedding from the get go because everyone has been so blah about it.
I just feel like getting married at the courthouse will be quick and painless, but I know that at some point I will regret it if I do…
Sorry everyone. If I had friends to vent to, I would, but, I don’t, so I get to look like a brat on the internet.