(Closed) I'm not sure what to think..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

She must have just seen Bride Wars… I wouldn’t worry about it- millions of weddings and no two are ever the same.She might have been surprised, a true friend will think it over and kick herself for being so rude when she should have been happy.

Post # 4
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Your friend may be worried that you will steal her thunder. It’s ridiculous though, and she sounds immature. Do you think there is any chance she would go to your SO behind your back?

Post # 6
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Thats not a reponse you want to hear! I wouldnt worry about it, she may just be feeling like its her time to be the bride and she is afraid your engagement might over shadow it..and I feel like this is an easy (yet unfair) first reaction to have.

I wouldnt worry about it and make sure that when you DO get engaged, you are still the attentive Maid/Matron of Honor you have always been 🙂 then she will hopefully be excited to share this special time with you

Post # 7
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Do you think it’s possible that she’s in on the surprise your Boyfriend or Best Friend has planned for the big proposal? Maybe she’s trying to throw you off.

ETA: if that’s not the case, she’s a dick.

Post # 8
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with the other ladies she may feel it will take her shine.. but to me she should be happy and know as your best friend that would not happen besides it wouldnt be like you guys are getting married the same day or something. I honestly found it very selfish of her to say that to you at all.

Post # 9
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I totally agree with the rest of ladies!

Post # 11
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

People are so weird.

She’s probably afraid that you’re going to lose interest in her wedding, or that as the newly engaged girl, you’re going to steal her spotlight, or one of those other totally stupid and irrational things.

I assume, because you’re her Maid/Matron of Honor, you’re really close to this person, and I think you need to tell her that her reaction really hurt you, that as your friend, you had  thought she would be happy for you, and that you feel like she’s expecting you to put your entire life on the backburner for her wedding (because that is *exactly* what she asked you to do.) I  think you should also listen to her feelings, and let her talk about what she’s concerned about that made her react that way. We don’t always have the right to feel a certain way, but it doesn’t stop us from feeling that way.

Congratulations on your impending engagement! 🙂 

Post # 12
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I would have smacked the scank. Maid/Matron of Honor or not. BFF or not. *Smack* “Ho….”

Post # 13
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

A girl I used to be friends with did something similar. She got angry with me because I was putting my relationship with my FH (just Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time, but we knew engagement/marriage was in our future) ahead of her wedding… that was in 2 years. I might’ve understood her problem if the wedding was in a couple weeks or months. 

I dropped her so fast and haven’t looked back. Mutual friends have told me she’s borderline obsessed with me now, but I’m not dealing with her antics again.

Granted, that wasn’t the only time she had done something like that, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

I would suggest you have a serious talk with this girl. She needs to know that your engagement will not affect her wedding, but you will get engaged when you and your SO see fit. If she can’t deal with that, she’ll have to find a new Maid/Matron of Honor.

And if she can’t deal with it, I would reevaluate your friendship with this girl. 

Post # 14
162 posts
Blushing bee

Sorry but she’s being totally ridiculous and extremely selfish. I could kind of understand if her wedding was next week, but it’s months away! So she’s basically expecting you to put your life on hold until next spring just because she’s having this selfish, bratty, childish fit about someone else daring to get engaged within several months of her own wedding! 

If she’s your friend then presumably she knows how much you want to get engaged, and a true friend wouldn’t try to stand in the way of your happiness. If my best friend got engaged while I was planning my wedding, I’d squee with excitement because we could go to wedding exhibitions together and do all kinds of fun stuff. She’s just being selfish and isn’t a very good friend.

My concern would be that she’ll go to your SO behind your back and convince him not to propose, claiming it’s for your own good, i.e. “You’ll totally ruin the proposal because she won’t feel special if you propose while I’m planning my wedding. You should wait until my wedding is over and she can have the limelight to herself”, etc.

If she’s a good friend in other ways then I’d talk to her and see if you can sort something out. But if she’s genuinely so selfish that she wants to stop you getting engaged and being happy, I’d dump her.

Post # 15
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would talk to her about it and ask her how far away from her wedding she feels comfortable with you having yours. I can kind of understand her concern, though bringing it up like that was way inappropriate!! If it were me, I would just worry about your wedding being really close to mine and people coming to yours instead of mine or something. If I were you, I would tell her I wouldn’t have my wedding before hers, and I won’t have it less than a month after or something.

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