- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
Hello all. New-Bee here asking for some advice. I guess I would be classified as engaged, though his ‘proposal’ came when I was 8 and he was 10. We’ve been friends ever since and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Quick background – I just graduated college (who-hoo) this May. I hated my college roommate freshman year. Though online blogs indicates most people do. She had the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. Tended to whine or throw tantrums when she didn’t get her way. Never did a load of laundry, rarely showered. And the constant ‘baby talk’. You know – widdol instead of little. Wub instead of love… you get the idea. And no it wasn’t a speech problem, I heard her speak normally tons of times. I’m sure I wasn’t the best roommate (as she frequently told me-I think because I had my own life) so it seemed right to separate end of first semester. But come move out day, she fell apart. Begging me to stay with her. Weeping hysterically, clinging to me. A real production. I left, and haven’t seen much of her since then (it’s a big crowded campus).
A group of us went to the beach for Spring Break this year, while there I got an email from this roommate. Gushing on and on, she was so excited, she’s getting married, and she remembers how we promised to be each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor. OK. I haven’t talked to this girl in three and a half years. I didn’t even know she had my email address. I figured it was a mistake, I know her sister and a childhood friend both share my name (thanks again Mom) so I shot back a message – think you sent this to the wrong person, but congrats. A week or so later I get the voicemail. Of course she meant me siwwy gowl (silly girl) I am just her bestest fwiend in the whole wide wowld. Uhm, what? And we weawy,weawy (really) need to meet up.
So I met her at the campus café. She comes in with a three ring binder full of wedding ideas to go over with me. I stopped her dead. I wasn’t sure where this was coming from, but I was not her Maid/Matron of Honor. We aren’t friends. Etc. Her replies consisted of repeated insistence that we were ‘bestest fwiends’ until I wanted to slap her. Her final statement was that I had to do it because she had asked me nicely. I tried to end it by reminding her that her sisters and her friends from home would want to be involved in her wedding. I felt really bad, she was crying when I left. But I had no idea what else to do. I know I never discussed weddings with her. I certainly never said I’d be her Maid/Matron of Honor or that she could be mine.
A week or so later, a mutual acquaintance stopped me. She’d just heard about the wedding. And she asks me when is it. I said I didn’t know. “What? You don’t know? You’re the MOH!” No. I’m really not. Finals week, I get an email from roommate’s mother. She needs my schedule to see when I’m available for all the wedding prep stuff. I took a deep breath and emailed both roommate and her mother. Again stressing that I don’t consider us friends. Certainly not close enough to even be a bridesmaid much less Maid/Matron of Honor. I really wish her all the best, but that I would not be involved at all. Day after graduation, I got an emailed ‘Save the Date’ – wedding is this November.
So – anyone? Anything besides – Run away from this crazy person – RUN! Except for being mildly curious as to who in this world would ever marry her, I have no interest what so ever. I think I’ve made it as clear as possible, but as short as this engagement seems, November is a long ways away. Email is simple, it’s campus email and I closed it already. Cell number is a bit more complicated, but it can be changed. So I can sever all ways she has contacted me.
But I’m right, right? Your Maid/Matron of Honor is someone close to you? My BF’s sister married when I was in HS. I was one of several bridesmaids, but her Maid/Matron of Honor was her closest friend. And they practically lived together towards the end of the planning stage. I have no business being involved in this at all. Right? I hope it’ll stop now that I responded to her mother but…. does anyone have any suggestions if she continues? I feel bad for her, not sure why she seems so attached, but not enough to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. Thanks.