Post # 1
So I’m in my early thirties but I have a lot of younger friends. One day I was in the car with my friends who are in college – one of them said “I wish I could just talk on the phone sometimes, when I am texting I can’t do anything else!” I thought this was sort of ironic and backwards given that you have to use your phone to have this laborious yet less complete conversation.
I have a guy friend who is afraid whenever his girlfriend calls on the phone because it has to be “serious” in order to talk in person.
As I make my way back into the dating world, I am wondering about texting etiquette. Lol, sometimes I feel lame because I don’t know how to interpret things. For example, is someone ignoring you when they don’t text back in a certain amount of time? What is an appropriate amount of time?
Sometimes I feel like a crazy person checking my phone all of the time! So ladies..share your wisdom. What are some etiquette rules for texting and dating?
Post # 3
@gut_feeling: Early 30s is not old (unless you were being funny and I’m too old (REALLY) to get it) (I’m 40-something). I often find myself texting some long drawn-out thing, then think “DAMN this is cumbersome, there’s got to be a better way”, then I remember “oh yeah — I could call and, you know, TALK — that would be faster and save a shitload of back-and-forth!”
I give people at least a day to respond to texts because I know that I personally lose my phone all the time, or think its right next to me when its really upstairs in my purse, or my stupid STUPID STUPID “smart phone” battery dies because apparently all those smarticles eat through a full battery within about 8 hours and I don’t know it’s dead because why in the world would I expect it to be dead after only 8 hours? Anyway, I am often late in returning texts, so I give people wide lattitude on it.
Post # 4
In my experience, if you’re hot for someone then they will stay connected through texts…won’t be days.
But once you’re dealing with friends, family, and life is just busy busy, yeah it might take a day or two for me to pick up my phone and read the texts.
For what it’s worth, I’m horrible with phones. I didn’t get a cell phone until I was 24. I hate them and hate talking on the phone. I hate answering texts and almost NEVER charge my phone…FI’s nightly ritual is running around the house as he calls my phone searching for it to charge it because 1. I lost it sometime during the day and 2. I won’t charge it 🙂
Post # 5
@Daisy_Mae: I had to smile when I saw how “old” you are, lol. I am 50, and I LOVE to text! I honestly would rather text than talk to most (but not all) people, because I find it to be much more convenient and much less intrusive. Of course, I also prefer e-mail to phone calls, too, most of the time. 🙂
When I began dating my now-DH, we used to text and talk on the phone. Because he was a single dad and has custody of his kids 50 percent of the time, and he is a pastor who works weekends and has a lot of evening activities, there were times when we first began dating that I would not hear from him for almost a week. Then, suddenly, I would see this text appear in my phone. I loved the surprise of it!
Then, as our “relationship” (before we ever met in person) progressed, we would text sometimes during the day while I was at lunch. I remember sitting in P.F. Chang’s and texting him one day while his daughter was home sick from school. We both are very witty, and we enjoyed having the opportunity to flirt and make little quips via text.
Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it.
Post # 6
HA! I got ya’ll beat in terms of age. I too resisted getting a cell phone and didn’t have one until jst a few years ago and that’s because someone gave me one plus I started dating again. I tend to text when I think my FH may be sleeping, working, etc. But in general, I am usually too lazy to text and call.
Post # 7
lol..I apologize about the “old” comment. I’m one of those people who has had a long drawn out academic career so the company I have sometimes just makes me feel like I am ancient! I also just feel this stark contrast because I remember when I was a teenager, talking on the phone all of the time was soooo cool. Now my girlfriends say things like “I am so uncomfortable talking on the phone. Texting feels so much safer.”
@Daisy_Mae: LOL. yes. our smart phones are often not smart. I feel your pain immensely.
@icetea: Haha, awesome nightly ritual. Sounds like he is a keeper 😉
@Brielle: Whoa! A whole week! That’s really interesting. I feel like texting is so much more immediate (even more so than the phone) so I feel like I would go nuts wondering if someone wouldn’t text me back for a whole week. Wow, I really like the way you viewed it as a nice surprise instead – makes me realize that perspective makes all of the difference.
@trueblue14: So do you let him call you instead?
I guess there aren’t any rules to this but I just feel like the expectations are so different with the whole texting era. It feels like we are just so constantly plugged in – I have the assumption that most guys are glued to their phones so as @icetea: put it, if they are hot for you they would be texting all the time and you could interpret what that means but maybe not as in @Brielle:‘s story.
Sigh! Oh well. Would love to hear more fun texting stories! 🙂
Post # 8
I am 33 and 100% prefer texts to talking. i have a social anxiety issue, with a very social job, so by the end of the day i want to be left alone…..texts help me stay in contact with people even though my socialness is done for the day….
I text my mother, and that is the ONLY way we are still incontact…my mother is someone I do not get along with….let’s just say this past week she chose to buy a wedding band that looks like mine and tell me taht my wedding day is “her day to walk down the aisle”…she did not say this in text because she does not want record of it…she is nuts but knows it…
texting is easier for me because of work. I love texting and HATE talking on the phone
Post # 9
@darkflame: LOL! I totally wish I could just text entirely with my mother!!!! She still hasn’t figured how to text me with her phone but now texts me with her email sometimes. It is much easier this way then her leaving me a bunch of phone messages!
That’s interesting, I also have a bit of social anxiety, have a social job, and, in general, I find talking on the phone draining/takes too long as well. I guess in the context of dating, however, I get more anxious with the whole texting thing than calling. go figure.