(Closed) I’m on strike! A Vent.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow…good for you for putting your foot down! I’m wondering why he didn’t shower or eat for two whole days. That seems pretty codependent to me….almost a red flag.

Post # 18
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Once again, good for you!

What did he do before he met you? Starve?

Post # 19
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

*bows down to you*

 

AWESOME! i am glad you stood your ground.

Post # 20
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

@MrsSl82be: We’ve had that conversation also! It’s only when he’s around his mom that he acts like that/ He’ll say things like “which one of my two favorite girls is going to make me something” I feel like it makes me look bad for not doing it but I haven’t budged.

Post # 21
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@jazinlove: I would tell him to not do that anymore, cuz not only does it make you feel bad, but it probably makes you look bad to his mom.

As long as he knows that he can only get away with that at his mom’s, I guess let it go.  But if he tries pulling that stuff at home with you, you know where to put your foot!! 🙂

Post # 22
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry but umm what a lazy piece of ass. He’d have been dumped years ago, I want a man not a child.

Post # 23
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Good for you! I have to say, my husband is pretty good about helping out, especially if I ask.

Try saying, “Honey, lets have a kitchen party. Will you help me with the dishes while i make dinner?”

Tried and true at my house. Crank up the radio or TV, and it makes for some pretty good chill together time.

And then, praise him IMMENSLY afterwards.

Post # 24
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@vmec: Agreed!!!

 

@soyjoy222: glad you put your foot down and aren’t budging.  Geez.  I might be lazy sometimes, but even I cook when my Fiance isn’t home and even sometimes when he IS!  (He’s the chef of the family and that was our agreement… he gets to rule the kitchen, lol)

Post # 25
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Keep putting your foot down. Seriously, what does he do at work? Starve until the receptionist brings him lunch?

Post # 26
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My husband was like this in college, but not as bad.. I woud come home from working 15+ hours and he’d be like.. “I’m hungry” There was a fridge full of food and I worked at a RESTAURANT about a block away- all he had to do was call and say “bring me home X dish.”

 That or I would catch him in front of the fridge eating a plain piece of bread, plain piece of meat, and then letture (too lazy to make a sandwich?).I’d also get pissed if he hadn’t done anything in the apartment.

 He’s better about it now.. I think. Although I did leave him alone in march for a week- left him pre-made meals those were gone when I got back and he hadn’t really cleaned, but he had been going to work (he works insane hours now), taking care of the cats, and showering!

Post # 27
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How did these people make it through college?  Did they go to the dining hall for every meal or did they just spend ALL their money eating out?

My Fiance isn’t a cook, but he’s great with dishes, laundry, and the vaccuum.  When i taught him how to make biscuits (which I had to learn to make because I’m from NYC and Boston), he called his mother to report the event.  It was kind of cute.

 

He gets ticked when his nephew, who is 11 years old, doesn’t help his mother or grandmother out around the house, which I think is great.  That kid is more than capable of helping out, even if he isn’t going to learn how to cook.

Post # 28
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

you are amazing!!

Post # 29
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yay! Testify!

I had a similar problem with my husband. Once I told him that sometimes I felt like his Mom, he picked up the pace. Possibly to avoid certain pictures popping up in his head during sex.

I also suggest that you start refusing to kiss or have any intimacy with him until he brushes his teeth/showers (though that’s the extent that I suggest withholding intimacy). I had that issue once with my partner not brushing his teeth….grossed me out.

Post # 30
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Idk if this helps, but with cooking this is our rule: one person cooks, the other does the dishes. (usually he cooks & i wash up). If we both collaborate, then we both cook AND do the dishes together.

Maybe this could work for you? Cleaning dishes is easy so he can’t say he doesn’t know how lol.

With other things we trade off — he hates toilets & i hate trash, so I always clean the toilet if he always takes care of the trash, stuff like that.

Good luck! <3

Post # 31
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Am I the only bee that is on strike when it comes to cleaning toilets? I clean the rest of the bathroom but will not be cleaning his toilet. When we move my bathroom will be a no go for him lol it just freaks me out to no end, seriously how can they make a toilet so gross

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