Post # 1
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
Ok girls, HUGE progress last night. HUGE! And I came here to get some advice lol.
On the way to our friends’ house last night I asked J how his financial issues were going. He said (in a very postive tone) “Good! Really good, actually”. So I told him that I had about $3000 saved up, and that he wasn’t the only person who had to buy a ring. One thing led to another, and I was explaining to him how I have to buy him a wedding band. He said that he didn’t even know what he liked, and I told him that he could come with me, unlike when HE has to go out and buy a ring for ME. He said: “Well, I know what you want, but I can’t really afford it. So now I don’t know what style you like.” Apparently he’s been doing some research because he knew all about the difference in cost of platinum vs. silver vs. white gold. I said to him: “Well, if you don’t really know what I’d like, I could always go with you someday and show you…?” And he was totally up for it! He said: “Ya that would be good, cuz I have no idea what you’d want.” I told him that it WOULD be a good idea because we have to wear these rings forever, so we should at least like them, right? He agreed, lol.
SO! He said he would have liked to go shopping today, but he’s playing golf this afternoon. We haven’t discussed an alternative date yet. This is THE FIRST TIME he (we) have talked about rings in detail, and RING SHOPPING! I think I’m beside myself right now. My question to you all, is… How on earth do I keep my cool? How ON EARTH do I bring up the subject (suggest a date) again without seeming too pushy or eager? I’ve never been in this situation before. It’s completely new territory for J and I. I honestly thought that he didn’t want me to come with him ring shopping, but as it turns out, he wouldn’t mind me coming with him to point out some things that I like!
GAH! Help!
Gwen
Post # 3
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
Just take a few deep breaths and relax! That’s super exciting news! Go and have fun with it! Ring shopping is so much fun….and it sounds like it’s a big step in your relationship. Just appreciate it for what it is and enjoy yourself 🙂
Post # 4
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
Very exciting. 🙂 Just wait for a free day that you both have and on that day in the early afternoon or something just say, “Hey, you’re free today right? Wanna swing by somewhere real quick so we can find rings?” Super casual. No pressure. Direct. If he happens to say that for whatever reason today isn’t good day, ask him to give you a day so you can make sure you don’t plan too much that day.
This is wonderful news! 🙂
Post # 5
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
I agree. Be very casual and laid back about it. In order to not seem pushy, I would personally give it a week and then bring it up again. So in a week, suggest a particular day in advance to plan for it, or if you are both out and free, suggest to stop by a store to browse rings.
Congrats on the progress! I am so excited for you! Good luck!
Post # 6
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
Thanks ladies!
I’ll give it the one week rule. Usually on Saturday afternoons J and I like to go tooling around the city and pick up things here and there that we need, or check out some sites. So prehaps I’ll mention it to him on Friday evening.
Gwen.
*SQUEEEEEE!!!!*
Post # 7
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
YEA!!! How exciting!! I am in a similar boat. Ring shopping was brought up a few weeks back, but we still have not gone. I need to casually bring it up sometime this week since we both have next weekend off and it would be the perfect time. Good luck!!!
Post # 8
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
That’s so exciting!!! We pretty much had the same conversation. It was like:
Him: I’m gonna go look at rings Saturday.
Me: Ok. (inside – ahhhhhhh!)
Silence for a minute….
Him: Do you wanna come? I have no idea where to start…
Me: YES!
I have to say I did not play it cool, but that’s not who I am lol and he knows that. It took us a few weeks of looking places to really decide. Good luck!!!
Post # 9
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
I’m so excited for you!!! When we went ring shopping, he surprised me by buying the ring right then and there. I cross my fingers that you get one soon!!
Post # 10
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
@megin: Thanks!
I need to ask him what his budget is, and go from there. He can’t afford the ring I want, but perhaps we can find a smaller, less expensive version of it. I don’t want anything huge because I have small hands. But ya, I’m going to mention it on Friday.
…Still can’t believe that he’s ok with going together. For some reason I thought that he wanted to do it all on his own.
Gwen.
Post # 11
Member
4883 posts
Honey bee
I dont think you should ask him what his budget is; sometimes thats a personal thing. My fiance took me ring shopping and we looked at different shapes, and he took it from there. Budget was never discussed because honestly that was a personal decision for him. He still doesn’t know that I know how much my ring was (and I only found out because I saw the appraisal/receipt.
I also think you shouldn’t bring it up again. You’ve made it crystal clear that you’re interested, he knows, and now you should give him a little space. I know you’re excited, as you should be (!), but try to keep calm and carry on. If its meant to be, it will be.
Post # 12
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
Thats such exciting news, and being a girl that went ring shopping with my Fiance I can tell you that it is a really fun experience. Be natural about it!! Good luck.
Post # 13
Member
3600 posts
Sugar bee
I never went ring shopping with DH. When I was waiting, I would pester him with emails full of links to rings that I liked!