(Closed) I’m pissed off. I’m sorry but I need to vent!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry you are feeling this way…I know how you feel! My friends were pretty crappy to me while I was engaged too. I know it’s easier said than done but the best thing you can do for yourself right now is just focus on the people who were there for you and not get too depressed about the people who suck.

Post # 4
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m sorry that happened! Everyone deserves to have a vent at some point so hopefully no one gives you any mean comments. Unfortunately sometimes people only think about themselves, and this seems like the case. I understand how you feel upset when you gave so much (not just monetarily) and she seems to have not reciprocated the effort.

Maybe she is going through a rough time that you don’t know about. Perhaps she didn’t have the money to spend and felt bad bringing it up? Either way, just try to focus on the positive. You had a bridal shower, hopefully got some nice gifts and had a good time, so just focus on that!! If it really bothers you you could mention how you were sad she wasn’t able to make it, but please try to not let it get to you too much and just focus on the positives!

Post # 5
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sorry you are feeling this way! 🙁 Have you talked to her about it? Maybe take her out to lunch or for a drink and catch up? Maybe she has been busy and hasn’t had a chance to send a card or talk to you…..?

Post # 6
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

She might be going through a rough time you don’t know about right now and it might be that she feels embarrassed that she can’t contribute when she knows you did so much for her. I echo Legallyblondebridie’s advice – meet her for coffee or something and see how she’s doing. Don’t go in accusing her of not caring, try and find out what’s going on in her life before you lay any blame.

I guess I’m just confused as to why if she had a good excuse you’re so mad? Things happen and unfortunately people can’t always be there for you 100% of the time. You haven’t gotten married yet, so there’s time for her to give you a gift or a card. Hopefully you can get through this friendship intact 🙂

Post # 7
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2022

Sorry your so upset, but why did you have your bridal party so early when your wedding isn’t til 2013? just curious

Post # 8
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would be hurt and upset too if I was a great friend to someone and in return felt ignored by them. She could have at least sent a card. I don’t buy the “she may be busy” excuse at all. It really takes no time at all to go to the local CVS or grocery store and pick out a card. Or pick up the phone. I know how you feel with this one- I’ve had some upsetting moments with friends throughout my engagement too. Hopefully you get an oppurtunity to lay it on the table and let her know how hurt you were. I hope you guys work through it. Have you been friends with her for a long time?

On the flip side, maybe something is legitimately wrong in her life, for instance she’s going through a really rough time with something…money, family, life, etc…it does help to be honest. If something was going on in my life I’d be honest with my friends…or they wouldn’t be very good friends to begin with.

Post # 9
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would definetly  be upset as well, especially if were seriously close… id like to think im the type who just doesnt care about others if they wanna do things or not, but some stuff like this for example would really trigger the angry me and feel lik Im unloved. HOWEVERRR- have you tried contacting her? asking her if shes ok? She really might be going through something that feels ashamed or cant just tell you so shes keeping her distance? I would suggest you first tlk to her before anything then afterwards you would feel better about your judgement.. 🙁 *hug* hope you feel better soon!!

Post # 10
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

That was really rude of her.  If you two are close friends (I’m assuming you are since you participated in all of those wedding events for her) then the least she could do is follow up with a call to see how it all went.  Maybe ask you to lunch…  Some people just don’t know how to reciprocate friendship.

Post # 11
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had the same thing happen to me, except it wasn’t a close friend. She and I had been really close in early high school then had a falling out. I thought I’d really never see her again until she invited me to her wedding shower right after college. I thought maybe it was the olive branch we both needed to become friends again. I went to her shower, bachelorette party, and wedding–all with generous gifts. After that we hung out a few times, but more times than not it was her inviting me to her candle or jewelry parties–more money involved.

Fast forward 2 years to my wedding. I invited her to my shower, bach. party and wedding. She didn’t show up to either of the 1st 2 parties, but that was understandable. She was pregnant and I didn’t expect her to come to those if it was too difficult for her. She did make a big deal about how she would be at our wedding and that would be her first outing after giving birth. I was really excited because I still wanted a friendship with her and wanted her to share the day with us. Come wedding day, no show. No card or anything–not that we needed a gift from her, but no gesture at all. I didn’t get a call or a message from her telling me why and she didn’t even come to the ceremony–the church was literally 2 blocks from her house. Not to sound greedy, but I figured that if she was coming she would have at least bought a card previously and if she couldn’t make it would mail it–nope, never got one. I don’t think she really planned on ever coming. I guess you find out who your real friends are…

Post # 13
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry that your going thru this.  Unfortunately, weddings bring out  your friends and families true colours.  I had a few people that really let me down too but then I had alot of people who went above and beyond for me also. Try to concentrate on the people who were their for you rather than the ones that weren’t.

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