Post # 1
I don’t know why, but both my parents and my FI’s parents KEEP forcing us to take more and more of their “important stuff” from what they’ve collected in life, and our old childhood stuff. For example my mom angrily forced 2-3 bins of American Doll stuff on us (mine and my sisters stuff), and 2 bins of fine china. It was all I could do to stop her from forcing all my childhood papers on me. I was able to work that stuff into our home after I spent a long time re-organizing the basement and sold/donated a lot of items (this was way before the wedding planning started). Now my FI’s parents showed up one day last month to give us stuff to take to the dump (or so I thought). It was his ENTIRE childhood room packed into a huge vehicle. It’s all piled in our living room and I’ve just been breaking down crying over it and getting upset with my Fiance over it. It’s so unfair!! We worked hard to afford and organize our modestly sized home. Both our parents live in MUCH larger houses by themselves, yet they’re forcing all this on us!! They’ve backed us into a corner and I feel terrible about it all, I’m looking into selling our bicycles just so we can put his childhood toys somewhere out of the way.
I just can’t handle it. I offered to force all my stuff back on my mom or donate it if she doesn’t take it. But he just isn’t offering to do anything but live with these piles of stuff that have no use and take up space. I understand that these two toy boxes are your childhood, and that your grandpa made that rocking horse from scratch, but I have a rocking horse my grandpa made from scratch too!! And two HUGE dollhouses! We just can’t do this anymore! We’re burying ourselves in childhood crap on top of all the diy wedding decor and I just want to cry from the stress!! This weekend we absolutely HAVE to finish working on the invitations, but at the same time I really want to find a place to put all those toys somewhere that’s out of the way. But in order to do that I have to re-organize our very full basement 🙁
What would you do?
Does anyone else have parents forcing lots of their stuff on them?
Post # 3
As soon as I get a house, I’m going over to pick up all my childhood stuff so my parents don’t have to be bothered with it. I’ll donate or throw out what I don’t want.
It’s your stuff. Do with it what you want.
Post # 4
My parents made me take all my stuff out of the house when I moved out after college. DH took all his stuff out of his parents house about 15 years ago, but keeps a lot of it in a storage unit. It sucks that you have to organize it, but I kind of agree that parents shouldn’t be storing crap for their kids. Your Fiance should go through it and decide what he wants. This shouldn’t fall onto you alone!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Your parents aren’t forcing anything on you. It’s your stuff that has been taking up room in their house. It’s about time that you dealt with it. Now go through the boxes, make a huge pile for goodwill/purple heart/whatever, another huge pile for recycling/trash, and just get it over with. There’s no use in getting upset over it when you could be actually doing something about it. You’ve been living without this stuff. You have no need for it, so just get rid of it.
And then go take yourself a nice long bubble bath. You clearly need some relaxation time.
Post # 6
Um IT IS YOUR stuff at their house so yeah you should be going to get it. Why should YOUR parents keep YOUR stuff in their house. Get over it, go through what you want to keep and what you want to throw out.
Post # 7
Your parents’ houses aren’t your personal storage facilities. You have your own house; you’re an adult and you’re getting ready to be in a marriage. I know planning a wedding is incredibly stressful (we did it and had wedding stuff all over our two bedroom apartment along with all of our cats), but you should take responsibility for your own belongings (from the sound of it, belongings that your parents probably spent good money on when you were a child–I know AG dolls are expensive). Your parents aren’t ‘forcing’ anything on you. They could have thrown it out if they wanted, but now it’s time for you to take it. Why should they keep all that stuff in their house? Would you keep boxes of their stuff in yours?
Take a deep breath and a new perspective. There are bigger things in life to worry about, especially when you have a wedding coming up.
Post # 8
I wish I’d had a big bin of china and American Girl stuff before my wedding! You can make great $$ off of that and pretty much pay for a really nice honeymoon!
It IS your stuff that was cluttering THEIR home. Now it’s cluttering yours… but it is YOUR stuff so I’ll echo PPs and say deal with it.. get rid of it or figure out a spot for it.
Post # 9
You’re both adults with your own home, you need to take responibility of your things and do with them as you see fit. I dont understand where the anger towards your parents is stemming from. Pick an afternoon work like crazy to sort through it and move on.
@CindyRelly: +1 on selling things & putting the money towards a honeymoon.
Post # 10
@lovelyduckie: I’m not sure where you live, but could you get a cheap storage space at least until the wedding is over? We live in Toronto and on the country side I’ve passed storage units that goes for as low as $50/month. I think that’s worth the money for you to temporary remove that stress from your life!
Post # 11
It is your crap, not your parents. They can’t be blamed for not wanting it hanging around.
Post # 12
FI’s mom does this. I know she means well, and wants to share his sentimental childhood things with us. The issue is that it’s only sentimental to her, and we feel bad throwing it out (but also feel bad saying we don’t want FI’s finger paintings, lol).
Just do what we did, and be honest. After she offered us yet another box of his old schoolwork/drawings, I just told her that we really had no room or anywhere to put it.
If they really don’t want to keep the stuff either, I suggest going over there and helping them sort through the items, so that they don’t feel bad tossing/selling them. That could be why they’re pawning them off on you – so they don’t throw away anything you might want.
Post # 13
Umm what? It’s your shit in their house. You are a grown up. Donate it or store it. I don’t see what the problem is.
Post # 14
@lovelyduckie: Why can’t you just get rid of most of the stuff they’ve given you? I don’t really get why you need to keep boxes of American Girls dolls… go through the items, select the items that have sentimental value and that you might like your own kids to have, if you choose to have kids. The rest of the stuff can go to the dump, or Goodwill… it kind of seems like a no brainer to me.
Post # 15
I agree w/ previous posters – it’s YOUR stuff. If it’s important to you & you want to keep it, invest in a storage unit or make room. If you don’t want it, sell/donate/trash.
Post # 16
@lovelyduckie: Get a storage unit, or get rid of it. Your parents were kindly keeping YOUR stuff at THEIR house, and maybe now they want some more room for their OWN stuff.
Handmade rocking horses and dollhouses sound amazing. You’re lucky to have these things to pass on to your kids!
Seriously..Get a storage unit.