(Closed) I'm planning my wedding solo

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee

Wedding planning is definitely stressful. I don’t know how much you’ve done so far but it is good to break up tasks into parts. A lot of websites have good general checklists about what you should be doing when. 

Hopefully, your Fiance starts helping out because wedding planning is really too stressful to do it alone for most people. It isn’t fair to put that pressure on your bridesmaids because it isn’t their wedding so it is not their responsibility. 

Post # 17
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Who else would plan your wedding except you? And who else would pay except you? Pretty much everyone planning weddings has no wedding planning experience because it’s something you only do once or twice in a lifetime.

You must be imagining that brides have 10 girlfriends rush over and form the Official Planning Committee but I can assure you that isn’t the case.

Post # 18
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

I’m not sure why you expect things to be different? I’m planning my wedding on my own. I use my bridesmaids (my sister and my FSIL) as a sounding board at times, and I ask my Fiance for help when I’m having a tough time making a decision (and he took on creating our playlist and our centerpiece numbers). Otherwise, I’ve been doing everything on my own, and I never expected it to be different.

Post # 19
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

When you said in your subject line that you were planning your wedding “solo,” I thought this was going to be a post about how your Fiance was not stepping up….. Sounds like he isn’t, but if that’s the case, seems like you might be missing the point. Is your Fiance deployed/away/in some other situation that means he can’t be a team with you? If not, remember that you two are a team, and this is your wedding together, not your wedding with a bunch of friends.

Post # 23
Member
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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christiangirl93 :  99% of brides and grooms are new to wedding planning homie  lmfao are you serious?!! That’s the nature of weddings.

My husband and I had no experience at all with weddings and planned it using the Internet and my brain. 

Make a list of what you need first. I broke up my plan into months and had a few items to accomplish every month. First month was venue and photographer. Next was dj and flowers and so on. 

Come on bee I don’t mean to be harsh but it’s not rocket science. Do some research online before giving up. Sheesh

Post # 24
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
christiangirl93 :  For most people, there’s a huge learning curve when planning weddings. I know that’s true for me! This is my 1st wedding and the same is true for my FH. But, you’re trying to make something happen so he needs to put in effort as well.

My FH didnt know *anything* about wedding till we started planning but he educated himself (we watched ‘rich bride, poor bride’ and Say Yes to the Dress together lol so he started to learn about the wedding industry. He would listen to the things I would read and share with him. 

Even though he’s not enthusiastic about wedding planning (honestly, neither am I anymore lol) he still puts in an effort to be a partner in planning this because it’s all on us: we are planning the whole thing and we are paying for it without help. We have a sizeable wedding party (7 on each side) but we don’t ask them to do any planning even though some of them will be helping us with our DIY flowers the day before the wedding. 

It’s hard work but it isn’t (as) bad when you work as a team. A wedding is often the 1st major group project a couple does together. How you work together while planning a wedding, will inform how you work together after marriage. So it’s good to start good practices now. 

Post # 25
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

My first thought when I read this title was, ‘And?’ 🙄 Most of us are planning by ourselves, a lot of us have zero experience with all this wedding crap. You learn as you go. Set a budget, pick a date, start researching venues, narrow down a guest list etc., Its really not that difficult. 

Post # 26
Member
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We planned our wedding (just me and DH), and neither one of us had experience with wedding planning!! That’s just the way it is–unless you can afford a wedding planner. 

Post # 27
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
christiangirl93 :  Most brides have never planned a wedding before. That’s what all these blogs/books/websites/etc. are for. If you have questions or concerns or just want to run through ideas, ask them here. The Bees are really helpful. Your bridal party is under no obligation to help you plan. 

Post # 28
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

My mom lives 1200 miles away and all of my grandmothers are 3 hours away – two of my sisters are 1200 miles away and the other two are 3 hours away (and are my bridesmaids). I haven’t had anyone here to help and cried one night because I was so overwhelmed. My fiancé stepped up and we’ve planned everything together since

Post # 29
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

When I was planning, I came in with 0 experience and 0 help. My fiancee was 5 hours away and my Maid/Matron of Honor lived in Australia. I did it under budget and in 5 months. Just make a list of large things and time sensitive things and then nail down little details after that. It’s not difficult. I will say that I didn’t have to pay for it because my parents did (they’re awesome). But I did all of the legwork and everything else.

Post # 30
Member
7979 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

On the one hand, you sound like you resent that no one is helping to plan your wedding, yet in the same breath you say you resent people giving their two cents worth as far as opinions go – because they won’t help pay. So ultimately you are angry because no one is stepping up financially. Who else do you expect to pay for your wedding?

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