I’m pregnant. Contemplating abortion

posted 8 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
9119 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Abortion is a perfectly valid option. You don’t need to make the decision right this minute. Sleep on it for a couple days, maybe physically write out the pros and cons.


Whatever you choose is the right option. Best wishes.

Post # 3
9719 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

sparklesnshines :  *hugs* I’m sorry bee.  I don’t think its a choice anyone can really make for you.

You have every right to want to protect your and your existing kids quality of life.  But it’s also totally normal to feel uncomfortable with the idea of an abortion.  Keep talking it out with your fiance and feeling it out, is my only advice.

Good luck bee.


Post # 4
431 posts
Helper bee

I support the right to choose; the right to choose regardless of your current situation. 

A lot of people are going to tell you that because you’re an adult and in a relationship that you should keep it. I disagree! Do what is best for you and your family. 

My only question is, it is not clear from your post what your Fiance wants: Does he want a child or does he also want an abortion? I believe his opinion matters just as much as yours and you need to discuss it together. 


Post # 5
13386 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

All you need to get married is like $30 to pay for a license and the courthouse fees.  Everything else is extra – and using having a party as an excuse to terminate a pregnancy really, really, really puts a bad taste in my mouth.

Personally, I think this is a decision you need to make jointly with your Fiance.  He wants to keep the child.  How does he feel about the financial strain? Now that you aren’t doing this as a single parents, would that change how you do things?  Since you’ll only have one child in daycare, can you adjust your budget so you don’t need to get on government assistance?  

Whatever you decide with this pregnancy, I would recommend either you or your Fiance take more significant steps to avoid this istuation in the future (vasectomy, IUD, or some other more semi-permanent birth control).

Post # 7
3935 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It sounds like an abortion is the best thing for you and your family.  Your biggest responsibility is to the family that’s already here: don’t put them in a bad spot because of what you “should ” do.

I hope you are able to come to a decision that brings you peace, bee.

Post # 10
682 posts
Busy bee

I also agree that it sounds as though abortion is the right answer here. You seem to have your life just where you want it. You say your fiancé will support whichever decision you make, which is good. You’ve listed all the reasons you don’t want a baby, but something is holding you back. What would the reasons for not having an abortion be?

Post # 12
1930 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Boy, I don’t know. I’m pro choice and I’ve often wondered what I would do if I got pregnant a third time- my kids are 2 and 6 and I absolutely don’t want more. 

I know your fiancé says he’ll support you either way, but what if he regrets it? That doesn’t mean it’s not still the right choice for you but you have to be prepared for all possible outcomes here.   

I don’t have any helpful advice for you and I hope things work out well for you, whatever you choose. 

Post # 13
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Have you thought about adoption?

Post # 14
682 posts
Busy bee

sparklesnshines :  Definitely a tough situation to be in, and I imagine most women who have an abortion have a degree of guilt as well. In your case, you know what having a baby means for you, your lifestyle etc. So it’s fair to say you have a good grasp of what you want at this stage in your life. Perhaps you should write down all the pros/cons and see which side is heavier. Or perhaps something will jump out at you. I find that works for me sometimes. Good luck to you Bee.

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