Post # 1
Here’s my story bees (no negative comments please):
I was supposed to have my period a few days before our wedding and never got it. I thought it was just stress. But just 4 days after our wedding and 1 day before Thanksgiving, I took a couple pregnancy tests and yep….pregnant! I was shocked and cried my eyes out because we had wanted to wait at least a year before getting pregnant. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve scared myself into thinking it’s not the right time. So I made an appointment to abort the pregnancy. I’ve been very unsure about the decision and have been having doubts and nightmares. Today was my appointment and my husband and I decided not to go. We’re afraid we’ll regret it imensly. At the same time we’re afraid and feel unprepared because it wasn’t planned. We both have fairly well paying jobs (definitely not even close to being wealthy, but not poor either) and health insurance, so financially it’s doable, but we had thought it would be a better plan to save money and have some time to ourselves before getting pregnant. The more we thought about it, the more we realized that this is a gift that you can probably never be 100% ready for and 1 year is probably not going to make a huge difference in our preparedness. So here we are, happy and scared….and ready to share the news with our family.
Any words of advice, encouragement, or sharing your stories and experience are welcomed 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I got pregnant one month after we got married and we were planning to wait a few more years. Our situation is a bit different in that at no moment did we entertain the thought of aborting the emrbyo, but I can sympathize and empathize with your confusion and sense of unpreparedness. We had NO idea what we were doing because we did not plan this at all and hadn’t thought about how to integrate a child into our lives. I had also recently accepted a really, really low-paid job for the next year so taht I could stay in academia and build up my CV to get a permanent position. Once I would finish my PhD (which was in August… we got pregnant in April, found out in May), I would have no health insurance too… so there was A LOT of freaking out.
But, now we are 34 and a half weeks pregnant and we’ve figured it all out. It’s rough… we don’t have enough money and we’re using Medicaid to cover medical expenses (which is a major hit to the pride), but we’ve gotten lots of support from friends and family (who are unfortunately all 5+ hours away, but still) and we’ve read a lot, gone to the classes, etc.
If you decide to keep the embryo, which it looks like you probably will, trust me that you will be fine. Your concerns show that you clearly care enough to take this seriously. Get yourself signed up from some newsletters. I like BabyCenter and FitPregnancy best, and get a book or two (skip What to Expect… it’s really alarmist; we got th Mayo Clinic guide instead). Make an appointment to see an OB between 8 and 12 weeks, and start planning how and when you will let people know. Most wait until 12-14 weeks so that they are past the miscarriage danger zone.
Post # 4
CONGRATS! best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy 🙂
Good news is that the baby is not coming tomorrow, right? So you have about a few months to figure it all out. Sounds like you are already in a pretty good place and I’m sure you’ll do just fine!
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Congrats!! I am totally pro-choice but I think you made the right decision. You’re right that no one ever seems to feel totally prepared, but being in a healthy marriage with some financial stability is key. Yay!
Post # 6
Congratulations! I’m sure everything will be fine! You’re right, no matter how hard you try, no one can be 100% ready. I wish life worked that way!
Post # 7
@mrsnnn: You have 9 months to prepare. No one can totally be prepared for a baby. You just make it work. Good luck!!! Enjoy the little one you have growing inside you.
Post # 8
My husband and I were engaged for 2 years. We also had the plan that we wanted to wait a year before we TTC.
Well all of a sudden 3 months before the wedding I popped positive on the pregnancy test.
My husband had a good job (about $3500/month) and I was working full time at a coffee shop (about $1100/month). I was also going to school full time.
Needless to say, not the best time to get pregnant. We had debt up to our eyeballs and a huge truck payment that we just paid off 3 months ago. So when I found out that I was pregnant I was scared because I was already living paycheck to paycheck and I knew how exspensive babies were and I didn’t think that we would be able to afford a child.
We decided to go through with the pregnancy. All throughout the pregnancy I had my moments where I should of aborted because there is no way that I will be able to afford her.
I now have a 10 month beautiful healthy baby girl and I couldn’t be happier. I finished college and got my diploma. I am working a good job getting paid alot more than what I did when I was working at a coffee shop. There is not a moment that goes by now that I wish I aborted. We have been able to pay down our debt and save money as well.
My point is that although she wasn’t planned she fits into our life perfectly. We were able to adjust. I believe that there is a reason that you didn’t go. You are ready. And just because it is not when you ideally wanted to have a child doesn’t mean that you won’t make it work. And I promise you that you will end up having doubts throughout your pregnancy and that is normal. But when you hold your child for the very first time that is when you realize that everything will be okay.
Congrat!! and Good Luck! I think you’ll do great!
Post # 9
Hey, your in a loving marriage with a stable income. What more could a baby ask for? Life changes are always hard and you can never be fully prepared for them. Stop stressing – you got a whole nine months to come up with a plan.
Post # 10
Your final words reflect what I was thinking. One year isn’t long at all! It barely makes a difference, really. You sound like you can finacially support a baby better than a lot of people can already, and since you only planned to wait a year, I do think you’d regret it if you aborted. Just try to be extra savvy with your money and you won’t be in bad shape.
You have a loving husband and are financially and medically stable, and I assume your health is good, so you’re pretty much good to go. You just need to get mentally prepared, which you have some time to do still. You’ll warm up to it very soon. No worries =) And what better month to find out? Easy way to announce it before anyone “notices” so that you can completely surprise them ^_^
Post # 11
Thank you all for sharing your stories and for being so supportive and positive! It makes me feel so much better to know that I’m not the only one who has had doubts or is scared and that I’m not a bad person because of that. We just got back from telling most of our family and they are elated. I’m starting to feel a little excited about the journey ahead of us and telling myself everything will work out just fine. Wow…baby is on the way 🙂
Post # 12
My advise is to never tell your child that you thought about (made the appt) to abort.
My mother told me that she wanted to abort me but was farther along than she thought and because of this it would have cost her more than she could afford. :/ Makes me feel horrible.
I’m not saying you ever would do this. Just my advise.
Congrats on your pregnancy. It will all work out and you will be so happy with your choice.
Post # 13
@luvmyDwight: Thank you for the warm wishes! I am so sorry you had to hear that from your mother. My mother has at times shared things with me that I would have rather never known. I intend to make better decisions with my children….I assume it’s what we all want….to give our children an even better experience then we had. 🙂
Post # 14
Well for one . . . Congratulations!! If you decided to keep the baby then one word of advice I can give is . . . you will be ready! It may seem scary but if you guys are married, were discussing a family, and financially can afford it; then you guys will be great!
Post # 15
Congratulations and good luck! It sounds like you made the right decision, and when your baby arrives you will have no doubts about it!
Post # 16
You have nine months to prepare! No need to be ready just yet :P! Congratulations on your pregnancy and new family!