(Closed) I’m probably being a bridesmaidzilla…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think this is a situation where you could bring up to her your concerns. Just tell her you’re worried about his comfort level and understand he would not be at the head table, but you would really appreciate if he could sit with your family because he is comfortable with them. I would personally not be upset about this if I was your friend. 

Post # 4
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would just deal. Seating arrangements were the bane of my existence and when people complained to me I wanted to scream because they didn’t understand that I had to move 8 people to accomodate them. He should be able to be friendly during the dinner portion of the night and after that he can move around. Ideal? No. But prob not worth stressing her out over.

Post # 5
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

P.S. Being worried about your FH’s comfort level hardly makes you a bridezilla. 😉

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I mean, I get why it’s awkward. I agree about head tables as well, and I do think he should have been with your family. I don’t get why he wouldn’t be. But at the same time, it’s just for the dinner. He can sit with your family at the ceremony and then as soon as dinner is over, you guys will be together dancing, etc. So, I wouldn’t make a huge deal of it. She probably just didn’t even think it through. I think you just have to deal with it.

Post # 7
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You can ask, but I also wouldn’t go overboard if she says no. Seating arrangements are VERY difficult, especially if you’re trying to even things out and not have an empty seat at a table. You can bring it up with her so she knows, but if she says “no can do” then he might just have to be a grown up and make some new friends. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would just deal. She’s probably doing her best to seat everyone near friends or family, but sometimes seating arrangments can be tricky. I’m going to assume there will be other people at the table with your fiance and this girl, so I wouldn’t make it out to be a bigger issue than it is. Look at it as an opportunity for him to meet some new people that are important in her life!

Go with the flow…it’s her day and she has enough things to worry about!

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Since the wedding is just days away, I think you should just let it slide. I don’t think you should bother the bride with this, I’m sure she’s busy with all kinds of other stuff. It’s kind of annoying that she would do the seating like that in the first place, but it’s not that big of a deal. Your Fiance will survive the dinner sitting next to a stranger. 

Post # 11
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You are wrong to be peeved he’s not sitting with you. Just because you choose to sit your birdal party to sit with their partners doesn’t mean that’s common place. Quite the opposite actually.

Have you ever considered that the bride DID consider your man to sit with your family but presumed he wouldn’t want to sit with “old folk”. I would assume that. I would put the young people with the young people and the older folk with the older folk. I would not even come close to assuming that a guy would desire to sit with his future in laws. I would have instead presumed he might be more comfortable with people of a similar age group and possibly have more fun at that table then with his future in laws.

So yes, you’re wrong to be pissed off, because she may well have good intentions… I do think you can bring it up to her but be careful not to demand a change. Just say something like he might be more comfortable sitting with your family and leave the rest up to her.

Post # 12
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you should let this go. Seating plans are very tricky – I’m sure the bride does not need to be worryong about changing them now – I think mentioning it would add uneccesary stress..you should probably let it go and try to see things from her perspective.

Post # 14
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i don’t think you are wrong to feel peeved – you can feel anything you want!  i would let it slide, but i would still be super annoyed.  this happened to me when my fiance was in a wedding and i was not – and he had to sit at the head table while i sat with strangers.   after that i said i would not have a head table – it really makes the other halfs uncomfortable b/c they have to sit without their partner.

Post # 15
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

That’s why I don’t like assigned seating. Everyone is an adult (usually), so they can decide who they want to sit with. Maybe they really want to catch up with an old friend… or maybe they want to sit with their fiance. I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla. I mean, I think you and he will be just fine. Because it’s only an hour or so (if that) of sitting down; then you can do whatever you want!

Post # 16
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@lawschool bride: alright, just a thought. there are a bizillion reasons she could have decided, what if the extras table didn’t have enough people and she moved him from your family table to the extras table to fill it up. she figured everyone is cool and social enough to make some conversation. anyways let it be she can’t make everyone happy just like you, nor I can either…

By The Way all the partners of bridal party members are invited to the rehersal and the dinner, so it wasn’t terribly aweful of her to think your guy would know the girl at his table. I’m presuming all the partners of my party will be attending the rehersal where everyone will get to meet. They don’t have to I would just like for them to be with their partners if they want to be.

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