(Closed) I’m probably being a bridesmaidzilla…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh, I’m so glad head tables are going out of style in favor of other options (sweetheart, etc). I can’t understand why at a celebration of love you would want to ignore the relationships of your nearest and dearest by seating them away from their SOs. Yes, we’re all grown ups and can make friends, but dinners can also be hours long with multiple courses, toasting, cake cutting, etc and it’s really nice to have your date with you – especially if he/she doesn’t really know anyone else!

So, while I can understand how you feel, it’s Tuesday the week before her wedding. I really wouldn’t want to bother a friend with this at that point – especially since she didn’t respond right away to your initial query. I would say the best you can do is deal with it this time and be sure not to do that to your wedding party at your wedding.

Post # 18
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Knowing that she may have been trying to seat couples together, see if you can assist in changing the seating chart.  It doesn’t make sense for him to be @ a table where he doesn’t know anyone and your part of the bridal party.  I would kindly suggest that he be moved w/ another person to your family table and someone from your table could be switched. 

Its very easy to do.

Good Luck!!!

Post # 19
Member
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

As much as I haaaaate when brides do this, even if you ask her about it, it’s probably not going to change anything. Her wedding is less than a week away. She’s not going to change the seating chart that she probably spent days perfecting (except for this massive fail) or edit place cards with days to go. You’re just going to have to suck it up. If you’re really bitter about it, you can always sit her new husband with complete strangers at your wedding. 🙂

Post # 20
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I only am doing assigned seating for the immediate family and that’s it.   I would ask her about it but at this point, it’s probably already organized and she’ll have 54329843 other details to work out.   The dates and spouses of my wedding party are going to sit together and are fine with it.   They had the choice to not go to the dinner and just show up to the dance. 

Post # 23
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@lawschool bride: Maybe the girl she is sitting with is one of the grooms’ girlfriends? Maybe she didn’t have enough room for two people at that table and instead put them together.  Sorry I don’t see the problem if I was the bride… unless you weren’t in the bridal party(then I would sit you together). I plan on grouping the signifcant others of my wedding party together. I wouldn’t think anyone would choose to sit with their parents when they could be talking with people their own age.

Just my take… :/

 

Post # 24
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I understand how much that sucks (and I’ve been there), but I just don’t think it’s worth putting more stress on her right now. Besides, after dinner people will be up dancing anyway, so you’re not expected to stay at the head table. You’ll be able to join him.

Post # 26
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

first of all, i would never you are wrong for how you feel, your feelings are your feelings and if you are peeved then you are peeved, and that’s okay. i think its wrong for anyone to tell you are wrong for this. i think what matters is how you deal with it. and while i agree that you *could* talk to your friend, i have a feeling CaitMarae is on the right track in that since the wedding is a week away, there is probably not much that can be done. so in that case, it might not be worth bringing up.

Post # 28
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@lawschool bride: i went to a wedding once where all the BMs were separated from their SOs becase they had to sit at the head table (all other head tables i  have seen were just family), and it was not like the BMs were glued to their seats during dinner. I am sure you can get up and walk around and visit your fiance during dinner….so maybe it won’t be so bad.

Post # 29
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t worry.  Most people move around and sit at other tables after they are done eating and the dancing begins.  Its nice to be able to sit with people that he knows and he would feel more comfortable.  But its nothing that can’t be tolerated.

Post # 30
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You’re not being bridezilla, but unfortunately you’re probably stuck with it.  I had the same problem and my then-BF, now-FI was sitting with a bunch of people he had met only the day before.  I told the bride that we completely understand and respect and don’t want to cause problems but if there was any way we could sit together we’d be so happy…but it wasn’t really feasible for her so we were separated.  It’s largely because of that experience that we’re doing a sweetheart table.

Post # 31
Member
10649 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with some of the PPs.  It sounds like she may have seated the bridal party’s +1s together.  She may have also seated people by age, and even if this wasn’t the plan, if you have ‘singles’ sometimes you need to place them at tables with odd numbers of people.

If you or your Fiance was concerned about where he sat, the time to discuss it would have been before she made the seating chart.

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