(Closed) I’m probably just being princessy but…

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i see the inclusion, but i think it is a very elegant ring.  i love the style of it.  that being said, i agree with you- he should be able to save $500 for you.  (this is of course not knowing either of your financial situations).  would you be opposed to getting the ring with both your money? that way it would take less time to save.

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just bring it up to him tactfully. Like I always say when someone doesn’t love their ring, you do have some say in the process. I personally advocate shopping together. 🙂 haha. Just pull up the picture, show it to him, sell it to him… and point out that it’s not that much more expensive than your current ring and you’d really get your money’s worth.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

have you talked to him about it? lay off the attitude when you do (your second to last line sounds a little bratty), and see what he thinks.

Post # 7
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@kitzy: i don’t think it’s bratty of her to be considering rings in the $500 range.  without knowing their financials, this seems more than reasonable.

Post # 8
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Miss JoelsBee: i would talk to him about all these feelings.  it sounds like there’s a deeper issue of you not feeling appreciated.

Post # 9
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m not saying you don’t deserve a nice proposal or ring, but something about reading this just left me with a bad taste. Like, I can see where the disappointment is coming from but don’t be so hard on him!

Why can’t you have a sit-down and say “I love you and I want to marry you, but I also want to feel like we’re doing this for real and that some thought went into it. I like my ring but it’s very included and I worry it won’t last. This is more my style of ring, it won’t take too long to save for it and it will last forever. I’d love it if we could have a do over and get things off on a better note.”

Take it from there, but be as gracious as possible. The last thing you want to do is make it a big deal or hurt his feelings over this when it should be a happy time for both of you.

Post # 12
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This may seem like a weird thing to say, but what if you sat down and talked with him about it, and if you decide to upgrade, maybe helped pay for it a bit? Especially since it seems money is so tight for you both. My Fiance and I picked out my ring together, and while we charged it to his credit card, all of our bills are now consolidated and I’m actually paying for part of the ring with my paycheck as well. It could be a joint effort, or he could pay you back later if you want it truly from him, but either way.. just a thought!

Post # 13
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Miss JoelsBee: I understand, trust me. But this is reality. I know it sucks to hear because we want the ring to be perfect and the proposal to be special. But sometimes guys just go their own way and it can leave us going “Ummm… huh?”  At the end of the day the best thing to do is have a good cry, maybe go out to the car for a secret tantrum and then choose to talk about it, or choose to get over it.

I know it’s not what you want to hear, and I hope you don’t think I’m attacking you. But you can either suffer in silence and watch your resentment build and build as the engagement goes on, or you can choose to be honest (but tactful) and see if it gets you the end result you want.It doesn’t make you greedy and it doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s just one of many decisions pertaining to your relationship that you’re going to find yourself making.

And not for nothing, but my husband says a lot of the time guys really underplay or rush through the proposal because they are nervous. Keep that in mind.

 

Post # 14
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Maybe it’s better to get the moissanite ring like you wanted.  Then you guys can do a proposal renewal too, since the first proposal sounds like it left you with some disappointment.  Good luck, OP!

Post # 15
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you should pay for your own upgrade at this point. Although, I think you need to ask for his opinion on the the matter.

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