Post # 1
I just want to say I am very proud to take my Fiance last name!! Here is part of what i am saying in my Vows:
I will love, serve, and obey you as long as we both are alive. Christ told us that the wife must submit herself unto her own husband as unto the Lord. For as Christ is Head of His Church so is the husband head of his wife
It is not ‘sexist traditions’, i am not losing my idenity, It will not lead to domestic abuse (someone actually told me that! HA) We live in a fallen world but i will continue to live my life by Gods word!
Do i have ANY other bees out there who agree?
Post # 3
I don’t necessarily agree with everything you said there but I am very happy to take my soon to be husbands name and start a family under one name. I think its a personal choice though.
Post # 4
I am definitely happy to read this. I get so discouraged when I read all the posts about name change difficulty.
I love my last name, but I love the idea of taking his last name and becoming our own little unit. Sure, he could take my name, but I don’t want him to! I guess I’m just traditional that way…
I definitely don’t feel like I’m losing a part of my identity, just that I’m re-defining myself. I can’t wait!!! I practice writing out my new last name all the time.
Post # 5
I’m proud to take my husbands last name but the serve, obey and submit vows were not in our vows. I don’t agree with that we are equals in our relationship. I don’t submit to him I stand by him as an equal and he respects me and my choices and my opinions.
But to each their own. We had a non-religious ceremony because we are so not religious people. I haven’t been to church in over 20 years and my husband doesn’t believe in god.
Post # 6
Changing my name is ok with me to create a unified family under one name. I dont believe the tradition is sexist, maybe it is, but I dont see it that way. But i’m not sure about the whole serve obey and submit… that to me sounds sexist. Is he repeating the same vows? Will he be serving obeying and submitting to you as well as your husband and equal?
Post # 7
(I get to go from one un-pronounceable name to another. whoopee…)
Post # 8
@pinkshoes:well, if we’re talking about the Bible, it commands husbands to LOVE their wives, which actually sounds harder as a commandment than just obeying!
Post # 9
@HeatherShane: I think the majority of ladies on this website are taking their husbands’ last names, and I’m pretty sure they’re all proud of it. You, on the other hand, are rather inelegantly – and unsuccessfully – trying to proselytize.
Post # 10
@red_rose: so then it’s ok by the Bible to get married and not love your husband as long as you are willing to obey serve and submit to him?
Post # 11
I am very proud to take FI’s name…I’m not really cool with the whole obey and husband comes before wife statements you made, since we are in an equal loving partnership but on the last name issue…I’m very happy!
Post # 12
@pinkshoes:the Bible also requires us to love our neighbors (eg, everyone,) ; it is just interesting that it is specifically required of husbands.
Post # 13
I was very proud to change my name too! I love having the same name as him. I, do, however, think it has to be a personal choice since there are lots of really good reasons not to (professional, family heritage, etc).
Honestly, submission has such a bad social connotation now, that I dislike describing our relationship using that word, even though it’s a part of our relationship. However, ‘submission’ means that Darling Husband and I colaborate on decisions, and we both get an equal say, but if we simply cannot decide, Darling Husband has to make the final call based on what he thinks is best for me/us. I have no problem whatsoever with that because 1. he listens to me, and 2. he has to live with the consequences if he’s wrong. 😉
ETA: I guess I should also mention that Darling Husband did vow to love me unconditionally, and accepting the responsibility for our family is part of that. I’m not going into any more, because that would take away from the intent of the thread.
Post # 14
I love your understanding on that scripture! And I too totally believe that, but know that it doesn’t mean that I’m less than him or anything like that… B/C well if your man is loving you like Christ loves the Church (which is the rest of that passage) then it’s easy to submit and follow him! AND we know from the very beginning that we were made from Adams rib…. We came from his side… to stand with him. Not under him and not over him!
We actually used that passage as a part of our vows… his including that he is not to domineer over me but to lead me with love! =)
Goodluck with the rest of your planning =)
Post # 15
@red_rose: I just dont see how commanding the wife to do those thing is not viewed sexist then. As my husband and equal, why would I not expect the same from him. If we love our neigbors (everyone, including a wife), then commanding him to love his wife in marriage doesnt seem like a harsh requirement and is already being asked for him.
Post # 16
I will be happy to take his name as well, but I do plan to keep my last name too. i will be using it as a middle name now. I told this to someone the other day and she told me it sounded ugly. She also suggested I keep my last name because it’s much better than his. It wouldn’t feel the same to me if I stayed a T and he’s a H. To each their own though.