(Closed) I’m ready for a baby, he wants to wait a few years

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
56 posts
Worker bee

Your feelings are totally normal and I agree that men don’t always understand the “baby ticker” :).  I don’t know how helpful this is to you but can yall compromise by trying to pay as much debt off as possible until your married in a year?  Do yall live together now? If so, maybe yall can move into a smaller, cheaper apartment (may not be ideal but could be good for a year to pay off some debt)?  Maybe even live in a garage apartment? They are popular where I’m from. What size of wedding are you having?  Can you cut down on your wedding to save money and pay off debt?  What are some things yall can do now so that you have less debt when your married which will make him more comfortable about putting money towards a baby? By the way… I really admire how much yall are both putting thought into having children and preparing as much as possible.  Not sure if that all helps.. good luck!!

Post # 4
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d recommend checking out http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/articles.html and the other sections of her website. It talks about reducing debt, saving money and what you should, ideally have, before having a baby. Gail always sets out a plan so that all debt is paid off in less than 3 years, with all the money going towards debt repayment eventually going towards savings. She is not afraid to say “You need to make more money”, “You need to move to a smaller home” or “You need to start prioritizing NEEDS and WANTS”. Frankly, if you want a house and a baby but also have to have a brand new car to replace your perfectly fine 3 year old car, there might be a problem.

I agree with @bobanna in that you should look to see if there are places you can cut back to save. I am also having a hard time with not having a baby in the near future, but about 6 months ago my SO and I cut back ALL THE WAY. We only buy clothes from thrift or gift cards, we either eat out or go to the movies only once a month and have cut back our groceries by couponing and only buying things on sale, while also getting rid of most of our cable, internet, etc. Doing that we were able to pay off our debts (all but $4000 left on my SO’s car), and have saved almost $7000.

Our hope right now is to continue to save for a house. My parents are contributing a set amount for our wedding and it is about 3 times what we intend on spending, so the rest will go to a house, and once in the house we are saving $10,000 towards having a baby. It’s hard, but if you can sacrifice and remember why you are doing so, it can make it easier.

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