- 6 years ago
I really just need to vent. All you bees are so kind, I figured you wouldn’t mind if I did it here.
I’ll start by saing that my Maid/Matron of Honor, is fantastic. A great friend, very supportive. I’m lucky to have her, especially now that all this drama has arisen.
Anyways, I’ve had this friend “C” since the 7th grade. We’ve always been best friends (but we both have other best friends as well), so it’s always been assumed we would be bridesmaids in each other’s weddings. She is now engaged and getting married in July 2013. She’s a sweet girl, but for the most part it’s always about her. I guess I am used to it at this point, but I figured in time she would grow up.
Another one of my bridesmaids, “A” and “C” don’t get along. “C” hates “A” and nobody really gets why. “A” knows it and just ignores her, she doesn’t say or do anything. She just knows she’s not liked by her and doesn’t care. She’s a really cool person, so I really don’t get it. “C” promised me she would be fine throughout the wedding process because it was my wedding and she wants me to be happy. But she’s done nothing but complain about “A”. The night before the wedding we are having 2 hotel suites to have a girls night before (with my 2 cousins who are also bridesmaids). “C” is now making a big deal and even telling Maid/Matron of Honor she told me she’s not staying at the hotel because “A” will be there. It’s the first I’ve heard.
I had to change my bridesmaid dress fitting appointment THREE times because “C” kept saying the date didn’t work. She almost cancelled on the last one. She ended up coming, had the fitting and bolted. Didn’t even join the bridesmaid lunch afterwards.
Now FI’s brother is throwing us a Stag and Doe in June. I gave her 3 months notice and she’s already saying she can’t come. I offered to move it to the next weekend, she said no to that too.
Maid/Matron of Honor is planning a bridal party and calls “C” with a tentative date. Immediately she says “Nope I’m busy” so she gives her another date, again “Nope I’m busy”. She also says she won’t do any planning with her if “A” is there. I love my Maid/Matron of Honor, she had enough of this behaviour and called her out and told her to grow up. She said “This is Lyndsey’s wedding and you need to grow up and be the mature one here. Get over it”. Well “C” lost it on Maid/Matron of Honor and went on a rant about how she IS mature and how dare she tell her to grow up. She went on and on about never being in the same room with “A” and finally agreed to help plan with her but only on a weeknight because “I’m busy on weekends”. Maid/Matron of Honor is up at 5am for work and isn’t home til 7pm. She told her it would have to be a weekend, “C” kept refusing saying she was busy. So Maid/Matron of Honor told her to make herself un-busy and help plan.
Once I heard about all of this, I was finally upset enough to say something. “C” had messaged me to say no to the 2nd Stag and Doe date. So I came out and told her I’m upset that she doesn’t want to come to anything and I’m tired of her being “busy” for everything. I said “If you don’t want to be part of this wedding, you need to tell me now”.
Well, “C” blew up and turned it around to play the victim. She claims that I’ve hurt her by even saying such a thing. She claims my wedding means a lot to her and she’s tried so hard to be there for me. Then she claims I’m trying to tell her I don’t want her to be part of the wedding and that I should be more understanding of how busy her life is.
I nearly fell out of my chair when I read all this. I couldn’t (and still cannot) believe that she is playing the victim. She also claims she didn’t say no to any dates that Maid/Matron of Honor mentioned (but I believe Maid/Matron of Honor 100%) and that she agreed to help plan the bridal shower.
Honestly, we’ve been friends for 15 years and I want her there. But what I don’t want is all her drama and selfishness. I don’t want to lose my friend but over the last few years, I see her maybe 5-6 times a year. She “squeezes” me in her time and everything revolves around her.
I feel guilty saying this, but I need a 5th bridesmaid to balance everything out. She’s paid for her dress and I still care about our friendship. I’m just at the point where I want to slap her silly.
My Maid/Matron of Honor and my mom had urged me before to speak up for myself. So they are very glad I have and I am proud of myself too. Normally I let people take advantage of me and don’t stick up for myself.
Sorry for such a long rant. I am just SO frustrated. I’m such an easy-going bride, I love my family and my friends. I’m a happy person, I just can’t take anymore of this crap from her.
This vent kinda helped though 🙂