(Closed) Im Really Close To Ending It….**Vent**

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honey, I know EXACTLY how you feel. She’s probably punishing you precisely because you asked her not to be in the wedding. Ask yourself, do you really want to be friends with this person? She sounds toxic. You should be happy she’s coming to your wedding at all? Geez.

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm.. I don’t like her attitude or response to you cutting her out. She sounds uuber defensive and selfish, I doubt you will be able to write her a long email about your feelings and have her really take it to heart.

If I were you, I would not invite her to the wedding. It doesn’t seem like she’s a good enough friend at this point, plus, you don’t want to stress out about her on the most important day of your life.

Post # 6
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Friendship is a two way street. You can’t constantly be the one making the effort to see her or work around when is convenient for her. As much as it sucks I would say move on. Someone like that isn’t worth your time or energy. This is supposed to be a happy time for you and she’s basically causing that to not be the case for you.

Post # 7
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Like Msiphone said, friendship is a 2-way street – you can not be the one constantly putting in the effort.

It’s sad to me that as women, we will encourage a girlfriend to get away from a man if he isn’t treating her right – why don;t we hold our girlfriends to the same standard? Seriously. 

Painful though it may be, some friendships are better left as fond memories. There is a time to walk away, and this is it. You deserve better.

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I agree with ms iphone.  Friendships that are one sided take way too much effort, and frankly, you deserve a better friend.  There’s no reason you should feel obligated to include her as a guest of the wedding if she’s treating you this way.  She needs to grow up and realize that if she said yes to being a bridesmaid, it comes with responsibilities like BEING THERE for you.  If she can’t do that, she shouldn’t have been surprised that she was cut.

Sorry that you’re going through this…it’s always difficult to let go of a friend.

Post # 9
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

It doesn’t sound like she even wants to come to the wedding, the way she is treating you!  This sounds like a very tough situation, but someone like that doesn’t sound like a friend at all.

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

i dont think she is a friend at all. sorry but these people r horrible. i would not have problem cutting her out from wedding and my life

Post # 11
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry you’re going thru this, especially so close to your wedding. 

You’re the bride – she should be doing everything possible to help you, and make your life easier during this busy time!  You’ve put so much effort in to the relationship so far, and from her actions, it doesn’t seem like she’s even interested in working things out.  You dont deserve such a selfish person in your life!

Post # 12
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I have a “friend” just like this, who I used to work with and we were pretty close. I asked her to be a bridesmaid BEFORE I got a new job, and then again AFTER when I actually got engaged. In hindsight, I honestly wish I wouldn’t have asked her, because just like in your situation, I was ALWAYS the one contacting her, etc. I think it boiled down to jealousy (again, just like your situation) except it was because I got another job, not that I was getting marred (because she’s already married). To make a long story short, I was basically second-guessing my decision right from the start. She’s never acted the same towards me since I moved on from that job, and I think she still holds it against me. The only time she contacts me is when she’s obviously REALLY bored (she’s called me once in the past 2 months) and when I try to talk to her, she always sounds so uninterested really in the conversation.

Anyways, didn’t mean to hijack the thread with my own story, but you are not alone. From what you’ve stated, I just wouldn’t bother with her anymore. One-sided friendships aren’t friendships at all. 🙁

Post # 14
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@ Osaka – yeah, the situations sound almost exactly alike. It sounds like you’ve been a great friend, sincere with your emotions and dedicated to preserving the relationship. SHE on the other hand apparently doesn’t even bother with you when things are going OK in her life, and then when they’re NOT, she actively uses that as a free pass to treat you like crap. Not cool.

*sigh* I told my “friend” that I would give her a cd of the wedding pics, which I haven’t done yet but texted her again last week to let her know, and I’m a person that keeps my word so I’m going to do it, but after than I think I’m done. It’s to the point where I don’t really trust her. I mean, if she basically treats me like crap to my FACE, WHAT does she say about me behind my back?

Hang in there!

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