(Closed) I’m really happy, but sad and disappointed at the same time.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just try to enjoy the relationship as it is now. I really f-ed up a nice date once because I assumed he’d propose. He did a few days later, and I wish I’d been more patient. In the meantime, I’d ask him not to say things like how he’ll be your husband. I don’t think that’s fair. He can say that after you’re engaged!

Post # 4
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I know it gets really tough, and it makes it hard to enjoy the nice things he is doing for you, but it will happen eventually.  Just try to find a new hobby or something else to focus your attention on, and stop watching wedding shows!

Post # 5
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsNerdy:   Yeah and I wouldn’t go on the wedding websites either. I know there’s a whole waiting section, but it will just make you think about it more! Trust me from experience.

Post # 6
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This was happening to me too! Fiance would tell me he had a surprise for me, or would give me hints about things that made it sound like he was going to pop the question, this went on for months! I thought he was going to propose on my birthday, he had mentioned something that made it sound like he had gotten me a ring, I was awake all night, could not sleep i was so excited becasue I was thinking “he is going to propose tomorrow” well it came and went and no ring, no proposal……5 months later he did pop the question, and I was totally not expecting it, becasue he did it in a way i was not expecting! It was wonderful but i remember feeling the way you feel now and it really sucks! Stay off the wedding sites, and try to stop thinking about it, your day will come soon and then you will look back and laugh 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I was in the same situation. We went on a cruise together and I thought he was going to propose, his family did, my faMily did, etc. He even took me to the back of the ship to watch the sunset and said all these sappy things. Thought for sure it’s happening now and nothing.

Two months later I asked if he even had a ring and he didn’t. I was very frustrated because he would say the same things your SO says or take me on romantic dates. He still didn’t propose for 2 more months. It was difficult so I feel your pain!

We had also been living together and I was self conscious about the fact that we were living together without a ring.

Post # 8
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Aww, it will come your way! He seems to really love you and cares for you. Guys just don’t think like us and they want everything to be “perfect”. Not maybe the setting etc, but the feeling. It will come along, just stick to Mr Bees plan. Seems to have worked for a few bees here at least! 😀 Hugs!

Post # 9
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you talked to him about how you’re feeling? Has he given you an idea of a timeline? Have you even discussed a timeline for future plans that works for both of you? I haven’t read your older posts, but just wanted to make sure you weren’t holding out and making yourself crazy in silence! You both deserve to have a voice about this life-changing step!

Post # 10
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sad to hear you’re having a rough time.  I’m in the same position, but we’re long distance so I think that makes the waiting worse.  I don’t really buy all the girls who say to “get a hobby”, I’m in grad school part time, work full time, run 2-3 times a week and go dancing (Argentine tango) at least once a week.  I don’t really have the time/energy for another hobby!

My bf and I don’t usually argue, but we have been lately and his responses give me the impression he’s not ready to get married yet, which kind of pisses me off because we talked about it lots last year and he even said once he wanted to get engaged before I moved away (a move that he encouraged me to take).  Some days I want to tough things out but other days I don’t think it would be worth it, since he seems to see marriage as “the end” where as I see it as “the beginning”.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation.  It’s no fun at all, and I wish I had some advice that would truly help.  🙁

Post # 11
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

Nothing really to add to whats already been said – so i’ll send you a hug

Post # 12
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh, hon, hang in there!  I know it’s hard.  You two sound like me and my Fiance, sappy and so much in love!  We even joke about how disgustingly in love we are, lol.  When I was in the “waiting” stage it was so hard, so I feel your pain.  Every time he would get loving, emotional or we would be on a special and wonderful date the first thing that would pop in my head was, “Is this going to be it?”  And when it wasn’t I was a little sad and upset.  But I always kept it to myself and tried to stay in the moment and just enjoy him and where we were.  My patience paid off and he proposed the second week in January instead of New Year’s Eve like I’d suspected.  Just know that he loves you very much and has told you he will be your husband.  Men don’t say things like that if they don’t mean it.  For all you know he has big plans for the proposal and is making payments on the ring right now.  It is hard waiting but know it’s coming.  The only thing that got me through was my FI’s assurance that it would happen, I just didn’t know when.  And when it does happen it will be well worth the wait!

Post # 13
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I have gone through boughts just like this. What gets me through is knowing that however/whenever he does propose will be perfect. If you think it’s a great moment for it, just realize he has something even better in mind! When it happens you’ll be glad it happened the way it did and none of these other times you have thought it would happen will even compare.

The topic ‘I’m really happy, but sad and disappointed at the same time.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors