(Closed) I'm really mad about my friend flirting with my husband. What to do?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If this is an isolated incident, and she was really, really drunk, I would try to get over it. If she has done this more than once and had her wits about her, then I would probably be in jail because I’m a crazy jealous psycho.

Post # 4
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would say something first to give her a chance but ultimately I see the friendship falling apart.

i had the same thing happeN a few years ago. My friendkept getting all touchy feely with my bf at the time but I let it go because I knew he wasnt at all interested. It wasn’t until the night we were all hanging out and she kept begging him to leave me to lay with her on the blanket on the floor that I finally said something. Guess I was more frustrated than I thought because I told her off and everyone was shocked by how blunt I was about it, I’m not typically that type of person.

i went through the same thing as a teen as well but I didnt care about the guy so I didn’t care enough to be bothered by it. Out of respect for myself I should have stood up to her I just didn’t care. She and I are still friends

Post # 5
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t be friends with someone like that. 

Post # 6
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

My reaction would depend on how close I ws to theis friend. If we were very close, I’d ask to have a chat and let her know that I had an issue with her behavior and that it was a friendship deal breaker if it happened again.

If she wasn’t that close a friend, I wouldn’t be pursuing the friendship.

Post # 7
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had a girl do that to my DH when he was still my BF.

We can be civil to one another in the same room, but we are DEFINITELY not friends any more!

That being said, if she calls you today and profusely appologizes for her behavior (and maybe cries a little), I think the relationship could be salvaged. But no phone call, no forgiveness in my book!

Post # 8
434 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think I could get over that without a sincere apology. If she wanted to remain friends, I would expect at least a text in the next few days. In that ideal situation, she was super drunk and when she sobered up she was really embarrassed about it.

If she doesn’t apologize…we would not be hanging out with them again. I’m even wary of girls my boyfriend tells me were casually flirting with him! One night this girl was really trying to get him to go to a friend’s house with a group, but instead he came home to me. He told me about it, and the next time we saw her I smiled briefly and ignored her (we don’t really know each other) because I did NOT want to interact with her. And that was pretty innocent, I can’t even imagine how I would feel if she was getting physical with him.

Bottom line is that if she doesn’t respect you enough to respect your relationship, then there’s no point in being friends.

Post # 9
9948 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

What the H3LL kind of friend is that ?

Ya, I’d be done.

And I think Mr TTR would agree with me on it too.

We have always made it a policy to protect our relationship from outsiders (hence WHY we have an agreed upon the “Don’t socialize one-on-one with Members of the Opposite Sex Rule”).

Gotta admit tho this gal has brass-balls if she’s gonna get this “cozy” with your Hubby right in front of your face…

That is beyond obnoxious.

It sucks when people cannot respect common sense relationship boundaries.

More so when you like to think they were people you once upon a time could trust.

Lol… on the “I was going to knock her out” statement… I don’t blame you one bit !!

— — —


View original reply
@Mrslovebug: this happened to me when I was younger… College days… I had a very insecure Girlfriend who thought the guy I was seeing at the time was “dreamy”.  She hit on him, he seemed to like the attention.

THEY WERE BOTH DONE… right then and there.

Nothing ever became of the two of them… but they both individually tried to get back into my Good Books…

I told each of them, that I expected more from my important friendships.  They got the message…

I never heard from either of them again, and I didn’t care any more about either of them.


Post # 10
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsPanda99:  she’s crossed the line.


a true friend would never disrespect you, your friendship or your dh in that way.

Post # 11
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

Thank god your husband told her to back off…but seriously, I’d end that friendship and tell her exactly why.  Don’t let her tell you that it’s just playing or that you’re being insecure…she is a DB and I would let her know that you’re both disgusted with how she acted.  She doesn’t respect her marriage, or yours, and ultimately she doesn’t respect herself and she might want to start with working on that.  Be strong. 

Post # 12
1502 posts
Bumble bee

I would be honest and tell her exactly what she did and how f*ed her behavior was.  If you don’t say anything and start acting differently around her (i.e. going phone silent) more than likely she’s going to assume it’s YOU who has the problem and not think twice about her sh*tty behavior.

Also, you don’t say how close you are to this girl.  So if it isn’t a super close BFF type friendship, I’d let this friendship go.  Whenever a female friend crosses that line with your man (alcohol related or not) it’s really hard to go back to the way things were because you can’t ever 100% trust them again.  Life’s too short to waste time hanging around crappy women who can’t keep their hands to themselves and their own man. 

Post # 13
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It sounds like she was REALLY drunk, and might not have been especially with it at the time. I don’t necessarily think this is an excuse though…it seems she was fixated on your husband while drunk which leads me to believe that she probably (at the very least) is truly attracted to your DH and got a little (lot) uninhibited. 

For me remaining friends would be dependent on whether I considered her a close friend, and whether she realized how inappropriate her behavior was. I think that it would be difficult for me to remain friends with someone who had actively tried to engage in that kind of behavior with my husband though. In any case, I would never allow her to be near my DH one on one. 

Post # 14
507 posts
Busy bee

You need to get a real phone apology from her and then maybe have girl time. I am way too jealous though for that. All teases and exes need to get their own.

Post # 15
510 posts
Busy bee

What situation led to her “literally trying to grab his penis”? How does that even happen?

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