Post # 1
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
Hi Bees, Before anyone tells me I’m jealous and that’s wrong let me start with I KNOW, THAT’S WHY I FEEL LIKE CRAP ABOUT IT….
Ok so, my Maid/Matron of Honor just became engaged to a guy she’s known of her whole life but has only been “together” with 2 months! They got engaged Friday and they told Fiance and I Sat at lunch. I don’t know him very well, I’ve only met him twice! Idk if it’s the fact that I’m worried for her that it’s too soon and neither of them has ever had a serious relationship like this before and maybe I feel like it’s rushing?? Or if I’m really the jerk that I’m afraid I am and I’m just straight upset that she’s engaged so soon and now it’s all about her ring and their plans and the fact that now she is probably going to get married before Fiance and I can next year?
I know I’m a terrible friend for feeling anything other straight happiness for her….that’s why it’s making me feel awful! I can’t tell her I feel like this because what she will tell me is that She’s never had this before and she deserves to be happy whether it’s within a month of Fiance and I getting engaged or not.
Ok, so be gentle please….I love her and in my mind I know I’m more worried they are rushing and she will end up hurt like I have before but I’m not sure why it matters to me that they got engaged so close to Fiance and I…..I’m really not a jerk…I promise!
Post # 3
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
You probably are jealous but also a little worried about her making a mistake. I don’t know if you should say anything without knowing you guys personally.
Post # 4
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
Ummm honest I was not super happy for my Maid/Matron of Honor when she got engaged but I just kinda faked it and was open to seeing her happiness and now a year later I can see it was the right thing. She was also engaged after me and married before me, while at first it pissed me off our weddings ended up being so different it did not matter. Also it is also a good way to find the good and bad vendors.
Post # 5
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m more worried they are rushing and she will end up hurt
as a couple, my hubby and i went from he held my hand to cross the street to im going to marry you in about 2 weeks – but we had a strong friendship before that and we both agree that that made the world of difference to us, maybe your friend is in a similar position, you did say they have known eachother their entire lives
Post # 6
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
You’re NOT a jerk! It’s totally normal to feel like your thunder has been stolen when someone close to you suddenly gets engaged right after you did. It happens to the best of us.
Post # 7
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
Yeah, I’m not denying at all that I’m a little jealous…thing is…what the crap am I jealous of?? I have the most amazing relationship, that I’ve prayed for!!!
And, she and I have been through so much together in the past 10yrs. She’s been an “Aunt” to my kids since day one! Went to the courthouse with me when I finalized my divorce, cut the umbilical cord for my last child! I mean, I love her to pieces! I just don’t get what my problem is?!
Post # 8
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
@McVerde: Aww thank you!! Cause I mean NOTHING hateful AT ALL, I just don’t know what’s keeping me from being 100% over the top excited for her!
I mean Miss Tattoo and I are VERY close (as most of you know) and although I was envious that she got engaged a few weeks before me I never felt like this!
Post # 9
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
I would be a little jealous too. So I don’t think you’re being a jerk. As time passes you will feel less and less like that I’m sure. You will be too caught up in your own planning.
Post # 10
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I’m in the same position, except they have been together a tad longer than 2 weeks. Not that it makes it any better, but I think it’s just a normal reaction. As humans we’re going to compare, and not out of malice or judgment, but we’re going to notice we’re taller or we’re older or we’ve been together longer than someone else.Usually it doesn’t amount to anything.
I wouldn’t say anything though, just let it play out. As long as she is ready for this, then it’s really not your (our) place to say anything to the contrary. I’m sure youre coming from a similar place. You want what’s best for her. But reality is, we have no idea what that is. Just be there for her, for better or for worse. 🙂
And jealous is totally normal, I think. If it’s not then I’m abnormal right now.
Post # 11
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
Thanks so much ladies for all the advice!! I am feeling a lot better about my thoughts. It’s nice to have such a wonderful support system here!! 🙂
Post # 12
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Seriously biatch, how do you think I felt when you got engaged right after me!? I mean holy crap, the engagement bagels and doughnuts were barely stale! ^_^ I’m just joking.
I think it’s just our hormones. ^_^ Or maybe it’s because everything wedding related around us makes us feel we do deserve a year with the spotlight. You are AWARE of how you feel and I believe that’s important. In the end, you will be married and happy. She will be married and happy. And you will look back on this and laugh.
Post # 13
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
@Miss Tattoo: LOL As always you are right on point with me!
I’m glad so far no one as called me out to be a Biatch lol I honestly have been struggling with having the feelings I have so I’m feeling a lot better….And the MR. has been understanding of my crazy too so all in all I’m feeling better! 🙂
Post # 14
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I didn’t even know she got engaged!
Plus, you wouldn’t be a real friend if you weren’t concerned. I’d be concerned too. You can just offer your support and be happy for her. Effing bring her with us to the bridal show. Miss Taken (MOH…I only call her Miss Taken on my blog) is bringing wine. ^_^
Post # 15
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
@Miss Tattoo: It’s not total public knowledge that she is engaged. They haven’t even put it on FB yet omg lol And yay Wine!! lol