Post # 1
my mother called me tonight at work. it was late. she’s not a late nighter. wne i tell her i’m at work she asks when i get off.
i say “about an hour and a half” (12:30 am)
mom: “ok just call me then, something happened that i need to tell you”
me: ” is everything ok?”
mom: “no not really.”
me: “i’ll worry. work can wait. tell me now.”
mom: i left my cell at home this morning by accident. so i went home to pick it up and found your step dad f*ing another woman in our bed”
OMG. now on one hand i’m really worried for my mom. my step-dad had alot of the control with their finances and possessions. and my mother informed me tonight that he also has a gambling problem and so they have tremendous amounts of credit card debt. it’s so sad.
on the other hand. i have never gotten along with this man. he was overbearing and controlling as a father figure. used verbal language with us as kids that made us feel awful. and never truly treated us like we were his family. he always has cared more about himself than us. and while i don’t have kids, i have my fiancee and my best friends to gauge… and well their parents would all do anything for them to support them in times of need. so naturally i feel a great amount of relief to finally have this man out of my life, and out of my mother’s life.
i feel bad to be almost happy that he will no longer be a part of our lives. my poor mother. they have been married for over 20 years. and she didn’t seem to be upset. just really mad and vengeful. she’s already taken him off all their banking accounts. and she burnt, yes i said burnt, all their bedding. sheets, pillows, comforter. all of it! she’s changed the garage door code. stuck toothpicks in all the locks (the locksmith wanted too much to change out all the locks) she says tomorrow she is filing for divorce. and says that she will most likely now have to file for bankruptcy.
it’s so much to take in. and our wedding is only 6 months away. how will she be able to enjoy her baby celebrating marriage when she will still be grieving the loss of her own??? am i a terrible person to be excited to not have to invite some of his family now to my wedding? what do you all think?
Post # 3
Wow thats awful. I really feel for her. I can see being that vengeful too.
Post # 4
Ah there are some tough times for your Mom in the months ahead. Please try to be as emotionally supportive as possible. I had a similar scenario with my ex – and lost everything I owned. But I made it through and I am stronger now than I ever was. Your Mom will make it too.
Post # 5
So sad for your mom. Please tell her to contact a divorce lawyer ASAP! Don’t feel guilty about being happy that your mom is getting rid of a total D-bag, just be a supportive, loving daughter for her and she’ll pull through just fine. *HUGS* to you and your mom. Best of luck to the both of you!
Post # 6
@mssmiley: OMG. wow. just wow. I am SO sorry for her. This puts all of my little problems in perspective. You are entitled to your feelings, but do your best to stand by her. HUGS to both of you
Post # 7
It sounds like maybe she wasn’t that surprised? Good for her for kicking that jackass to the curb. I don;t think you should feel bad at all for being happy this man is out of your family life for forever. It sounds like that’s just where he should be. What a jerk.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
Yeah, mixed feelings seem pretty appropriate. And like someone sai she needs to get a lawyer NOW!
Post # 9
omg poor thing. how sad, but i do see why you would feel relieved. Good for her for kicking his ass to the curb, though!
Post # 10
Can I say I’m relieved she is vengeful and not asking how to forgive him? I’m sure your mom will have some tough times ahead, and I’m sure nothing could take away from the pride she will feel when you marry your fi.
Post # 11
Your mom sounds like a strong lady, and I truly hope things turn out the best for her.
Post # 12
thank you everyone for your feedback. i am so worried about my mom right now. she’s not usually this strong person, so i was actually very surprised by her reaction to all of this.
my mom is a teacher at an elementary school and the dirtbag works at another elementary school across town. last night she found out from a teacher friend at his school that this has been going on upwards of 2 years. she went to see our pastor yesterday and also to tell my grandparents. the attorney can’t see her until monday, but was highly reccommended by a coworker, so my sisters and i have our fingers crossed that the attorney will get her everything she needs. i think it’s gonna ba a dirty divorce, due to all the debt they have. mom thinks she’s gonna have to file for bankruptcy which worries me further since she’s so close to retirement. i don’t want her stuck living in poverty when she’s retired, or having to stay at work just to make ends meet.
this all puts things into perspective before my FI and i tie the knot. we haven’t ever even thought about a prenup, but now we’ve touched on that subject. neither of us have many possessions, but we do both have separate debts, etc. we prolly won’t do a prenup but we’ve already said we want to keep some things separate rather than be joint on everything.
i just keep reminding myself: everything happens for a reason. this happened for a reason and there are lessons to be learned.