(Closed) I’m scared I’m miscarrying

posted 10 years ago in TTC
Post # 92
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry. I’ve not had a D&C, but I did have a natural miscarriage. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. 

Big hugs. 

Post # 93
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers darling ! Wishing you all the best from this point on ! We love you and your little Ambrose too ! God Bless ! 

Post # 94
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Magdalena: I’m so sorry for your loss. For what it’s worth, my sister had a missed miscarriage at 8 or 9 weeks and opted for the D&C – she said that it was more of a medical procedure than she realized, but not painful. She said the doctors and nurses were very caring and emotionally it was the right decision for her. She got pregnant 4 or 5 months later and is now 22 weeks along.

 

Post # 96
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Magdalena:  The secretary was so mean and made me feel like I was bothering the doctor. “We’ve already gone above and beyond for you” were her exact words. She said she would try, I apologized but now I feel more like shit than before.


What a terrible, horrible thing to say someone going through something so difficult and emotional.  This isn’t a chest cold or a case of the flu!  

I am so sorry you are going through this, and so sorry you had to deal with her hurtful remarks on top of it.  If anything SHE owes YOU an apology, not the other way around!

Post # 97
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Magdalena: eww, don’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. That was a completely unprofessional thing to say, even if they had already gone above and beyond.  So rude!!!!

Post # 98
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@Magdalena:  I would not talk to the secretary, I would ask to speak to his nurse. What a mean person to talk that way to you during this difficult time. She should have a little more compassion.

Post # 99
Member
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

So sorry.  (((HUGS & prayers))).  Sorry about mean, unprofessional people, too. 

Post # 100
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee

@Magdalena: Oh honey thats horrible… I really hope you can get everything sorted out smoothly and soon 😛 

Post # 101
Member
7321 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Call back and tell that secretary you need to speak with a nurse and that you do not wish to speak to her any more. Tell the nurse what happened, that woman should NOT be dealing with patients, especially one who is going through a loss. If you don’t feel strong enough, have your husband call for you.

I’m sorry the news wasn’t better, you’ll be in my thoughts.

Post # 102
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry for your loss:( Know that a lot of us here are thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

I would be certain that you tell the doctor about the unacceptable response you got from the secretary when you speak with him next. I had a similar situation with a nurse at my OB/GYNs office and the doctor thanked me for bringing it up saying he was “horrified” at the way I was treated.  The doc’s don’t always know everything that’s going on when they’re not around. 

Post # 103
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@KatyElle: I totally agree.

You should not have to speak with that horrible woman again. I agree that you should call and ask for somebody else and also let your doctor know how the secretary spoke to you. At a time like this, everybody at the office should show compassion. I’m so sorry. (((Hugs)))

Post # 104
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Magdalena: Oh, sweety, I am so so sorry.  That is such a beautiful name.  I know that the next few days are soing to be hard, if you need anything, just PM me or FB me.  I have been there.  There are no grand words of advice to give you, I will just send you lots of HUGS and prayers.

You should either speak to your doctor or to the office manager, that nurses response was unacceptable.  Her attitude has no place in an ob/gyn’s office, especially in the situation. 

Post # 105
Member
4560 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry you are going through this. And that nasty nurse needs to go! I agree with PP about letting the nurse or doc know about your treatment. 

Post # 106
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m so so so sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been there, and it is horrible. There are no words to make you feel better, but please know that the pain does lessen over time. It took me a very long time. I cried the first week straight,a nd then off and on for 2 weeks. Even weeks later, i would find myself tearing up.

Take some time for yourself, and just take care of yourself.

I had a D&C. The procedure was painless since I was under anesthesia. I spent 2 days on the couch (no pain meds needed), but then was feeling fine beyond being sad. I had light bleeding for a few days. My period returned 4.5 weeks later. The D&C was the right choice to me, because I had a “missed abortion” (missed miscarriage, which is a horrible term… thankfully my sweet doc kept calling it a “miss” instead either abortion or miscarriage.) So the baby had died but my body didn’t recognize it. So I don’t know how long it would have taken for a natural miscarriage. But I assume a few more weeks, and then I probably would have bled for a while. The D&C helped me move on sooner, because it was a finite procedure that was over with at a certain time. After the D&C I could truly grieve. I actually scheduled my D&C for the very next morning after we got our news (I had been getting bad news for a few weeks bc the baby was small, etc), because I couldn’t wait any longer.

As for that receptionist, I am absolutely appalled. NO ONE should be spoken to like that, and certainly not when you are going through something like this. I would absolutely call back and ask to speak to a nurse, or have your husband call. I would also explain to the nurse or doctor what she said and how you took offense to it. I know that I’ve mentioned a few things to my midwife, and she’s been very upset at how the front desk staff has acted. She said that no one tells her these things, but if she doesnt’ know, she can’t prevent it from happening again. 

Sending you big hugs and lots of love. I’m so sorry. What a beautiful name for a beautiful little baby. 

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