- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I never feel well. I really can’t remember the last time I felt generally healthy. There’s always something wrong. Sometimes it’s something my doc can actually diagnose, like the kidney stones I get or the mono I had earlier this year or the depression I’ve suffered from since before I can remember. I’ve been on five antidepressants in the last five years, just trying to feel normal instead of feeling full of rage and despair on a constant basis. Sometimes it’s things I feel like I can’t call my doc about because they don’t sound so serious. I get bouts of random pain that last for a few hours and then don’t reoccur for months. I get bouts of lightheadedness and vertigo that do the same thing. I’ve had nausea for the past three days every time I eat. Doc’s office isn’t open till tomorrow because of the holiday, but by then I’m sure it’ll blow over and I’ll have nothing to tell them anyway. And, of course, I’m always, always, always tired.
I never have a day where I just feel okay. There’s always something wrong. It’s exhausting and frustrating and I’m sick of feeling helpless about it. I want to feel healthy, damn it.
(End rant. Thanks for listening.)