- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
It’s wearing me out. And I can’t handle the stress anymore.
My mom had offered to help with some things a few months ago, said she really wanted to offer help with centerpieces, etc. I allowed her to do what she could, we got me another dress and everything. I was excited that we would be able to get some of the things Fiance and I’s measly account balance couldn’t afford (like simple lanterns for the centerpieces)
Things were going ok, she still had a lot of opinions that I had to tell her “no thanks” to, but they were manageable. Until she demanded to see the guest list, when Fiance and I were paying for the wedding. She claimed that in Father of the Bride they got to go over the list, but the father and the mother were paying for it, and we all know how the movies are. Anyways, I might’ve said yes to her having a couple guests had she not been so demanding and mean about it.
I told her that I didn’t think her seeing it was necessary, and changed the conversation. Well, as time went on, things got worse, and finally about 2.5 weeks ago she freaked out, told me she was going to post on Facebook “Dear friends and family, sorry ******* isn’t inviting you to her wedding, she’s being a big bitch.” I was extremely hurt, and decided after that I didn’t want her help anymore. I would give up my lanterns, the second dress she was buying me, everything, just to be respected a little.
Part of me wants to say yes to her having two extra guests she’s offered to pay for, but after how mean and demanding and begging she’s been, I just can’t. It’s not only that but she keeps demanding to see the guest list, which means she wants more than two people but won’t say it. She’s even said things like “Well, the venue holds 150 people, you are inviting 120.” Indicating we could invite a lot more people.
I already feel overwhelmed by the “small, intimate affair” we were supposed to have. I’m stressed to the max because I have two months to make invitations, paper flowers, string globes, and everything else.
I hadn’t told her how I was doing everything on my own, because at that point we weren’t talking. But I called my dad yesterday as we had been playing phone tag and he asked me about the wedding. I mentioned I had been trying to work on my invitations (which my mom and I were supposed to do) and said something about the bridal shower (that’s enough for another post). My mom texts me last night saying “Dad told me that you are doing everything on your own. I guess that means you just want me to be a guest on your big day.” I didn’t say anything in reply, because I had nothing to say.
Today she texts me asking me what I want to do with my dress. I told her the other day and today that I want the dress HER and my DAD already put the downpayment on. I was even willing to work on stuff with her the other day but when she called all she wanted to talk about was adding more guests and told me I was “throwing my dress away just because I didn’t want more guests”. I don’t understand how me saying no doesn’t resonate as no, I’ve honestly been a pretty calm bride, stressed but calm. And this is not HER day its Fiance and MINES. I’m hurt. Today she wants me to MEET up with her, because she refuses to talk about this on the phone.
She lives a half an hour away. Today is my day off that I had planned to take care of a bunch of stuff and now she wants me to come over, but I know she’ll just yell at me, and I don’t deserve this. I just want a mom. A real one to respect my decisions on my big day.
I don’t even know what to do anymore.