(Closed) IM so annoyed with my FI, he wont let me pay anything.

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

You are unemployed and you dont know how long that will last likely. Having a cushion is good. Not to mention when you are married you will be sharing finances so who cares where it comes from? You or your fiance?

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth when it comes to your father. He doesnt seem to be pushing his perogatives on you with the gift of his money so be appreciative you have people to help you because many brides do not. Be thankful and appreciative because it could very easily come across that you aren’t to your father and fiance and that would be worse.

If it really really bothers you to the point of it insulting you, figure out why not that you “just want to pay and I have money saved” but the real reason not paying bothers you and share that with your dad and fiance. 

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

So then the question is, why cant you pay it off? When you book something, book it without them there and hand them the check. 

When you go dress shopping your father and fiance arent going to be there right? If you need to you can even be “sneaky” while dress shopping and go to the bathroom and give the sales lady your CC and tell her that you insist on paying not to let “XYZ” pay for it.

It sounds like its a matter of pride for your father and fiance so becareful not to step on that. Instead talk your fiance and let him know its more important for you that you can help his family and to not be so stressed. That you intend to pay for somethings yourself and that this isnt negotiable. And then do what I mentioned above.

Post # 7
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

Well, soon, you will be married and that money you have saved will be both of yours and you can buy a house or something with it. So you will feel useful then when you have money and your SO doesn’t because he just paid for a wedding. And he is right – it is a lie and if it isn’t wrong, you shouldn’t hide it. I understand you want to pay and I would want to too but if it is a cultural thing and there’s no room to negotitate, just think of your savings as an extra blessing to start your married life with.

The topic ‘IM so annoyed with my FI, he wont let me pay anything.’ is closed to new replies.

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