(Closed) I’m SO bummed out. Family HATED venue. (LONG – sorry)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think that if you both like the place then go for it.  We are getting married in an airplane hangar and I know people will think it is ood.  But the venue is sooo us.  Your family will come around just give them time to get used to the idea.

In the meantime try to just talk to us here or to the Fiance.  Don’t say things to them you can’t take back or will regret.

Post # 4
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I’m sorry!!! People can be so insensitive when they think they are being helpful. 🙁 Maybe keep the details private from now on since you know what to expect from family!

Post # 5
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

this is easier said than done, but you gotta just let their comments role off your back.  i think you are going to find that, as you get farther along in the planning process, you are going to get tons of unsolicited advice and opinions, some potentially insulting.  remember that this day is about you and Fiance.  AND you and Fiance are footing the bill.  so next time sis or mom make  a comment or send and email, ask would they be willing to contribute some moolah.  “oh!  you hate the flowers?  well, i would love to do peonies instead.  when do you think you could send me the a check for the deposit?” 

Post # 6
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) Sounds like you’re the one paying for it so take everything with a grain of salt and I think you said it best with “I hope you can come and overlook everything and enjoy yourselves”.  That’s really all they should do. If you love it everyone else will as well, no one looks at the pews, you can put pictures or perhaps draping or a screen in front of the paint, but I doubt if anyone will notice it. 

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Awww HUGS. I’m sorry they were all very negative about it. But you said it yourself – someone will always have something negative to say. You can’t please everyone, nor should you. Please yourselves first, especially cause YOU are paying for it! At least for a while, I wouldn’t bother sharing any wedding planning details with them. You don’t have to cut them out completely, but I think in light of the way they responded to the venue, you and your Fiance should proceed as you want to and not really involve them in any details. It’s your wedding, it’s your aesthetic. After all, if you don’t have anything nice to say….

 

Post # 8
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Our reception hall is not PERFECT or what I always DREAMED of or anything like that. Well, mostly because  I always said im NEVER getting married. lol Anyway, it is what WE can afford. Its cheap, practical, and you can dress anything up with a little tulle and sparkle! This is YOUR day. Not your moms or your sisters or anyone elses. If you and your Fiance are happy with it (as difficult as it seems) DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK! (I am saying this because its so much easier to give advice than take it!) But, I deffinately know what you are going through trying to live up to everyone elses expectations but keep in mind YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE!

Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I was stressed about my wedding venue as well my parents who where paying for the wedding wanted me to have it at the family church. It’s old and not in like the 1920’s-50’s way but in the 70’s kinda. I was worried bc the carpet was old w.spots small dark church and the family life center were the reception would be was basically a gym that they had events in. I mean I had nightmares about it and worried it would look so bad in the pics but you know what everything looked great that day and in the pics. Tell your family the photographer wont be taking pictures of the chairs they will BARELY be in the background bc people will be in them. the same for the rest, the church, even the decorations unless you are doing something to really make a statement.  The photographer will be taking mostly pics of you and your soon to be husband and families. One lesson I learned the hard way was DO WHAT YOU WANT. I tried so hard to ask everyones opinion and make them happy but you cant and then some of those decisions i made based on others opinion I regretted them later especially after telling them “hey i dont think I like that anymore” which usually gets the response “well you should’ve done what you wanted it’s your wedding” that one really burned me up lol. BC everyone had a opinion and argument over how things should go when it came down to it no one will care as much about the wedding as you do, its your day and years from now when you look at your pics you want to see what you and your husband wanted not what your family wanted if you do you will be very very disappointed and it won’t even matter to them by that time. So keep  your head up, do what makes you and your fiance happy, it will be the first day of the rest of your life  dont be afraid to be selfish your supposed to be its all about you and your fiance no one else.  ok there’s my rant.lol.lol hope it helps

Post # 10
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think if you two like the place – and you’re paying for it – then you don’t need their opinions.  Do what the two of you want and are happy with.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you’ve probably said all that you can say to your sister.  It sounds like you’ve been very polite and classy during the whole thing, and while it’s annoying that she keeps suggesting venues, you have made your decision and so you might just have to ignore her and be the bigger person.  The only thing you can say is “Thank you, I think it’s so sweet of you to want to help, but we really have decided on our venue.”  Maybe give her another project to help you with to “distract” her from her venue search?  🙂 

Post # 13
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

As long as you and your Fiance are happy, that is all that matters – any anyway, your venue sounds great to me!!!

As for your sister, just keep responding her to saying something like “Thanks, but we’ve already chosen the venue.”  And as Miss Root advises, try to get her to help with another project!!

 

Post # 14
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

if you and your Fiance like it, go for it! i am so sorry you received such negativity from your family, of all people, but that can be your motivation to make it that much more awesome.

Post # 15
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Awwww I’m so sorry you had to go through this! Anyway, it does sound as if your sister is geniunely trying to help. So I’d definitely thank her for her concern, but let her know clearly that a change of venue is not open for negotiation. Especially since both of you are paying for everything. I guess I’d have an “open heart” approach, telling her it’s so hard to try to make everyone happy, and how sad you feel they didn’t share your enthusiasm, but are sure you’ve found the one place that will make your day special & memorable. There’s no arguing over your likes!

Good luck! And By The Way, it’s so sweet your Fiance helped you laugh it off!

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