(Closed) I'm so disappointed..

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Why did he tell you he got the ring? Why did you tell your friends?

You’ve only been together a year… no wonder he’s stalling. I’d go crazy too knowing he had the ring, but this isn’t really well thought out by him, is it? I would just try to be quiet about it, though.. not much else that you can do. You don’t want to turn into this obnoxious girl that he doesn’t want to marry, right?

Post # 4
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You guys haven’t been together very long but if he says he’s going to propose then he should. If he was honestly ready to be engaged he would be dying to ask. When guys want to do something, they do it. I would be trying to figure out what he is worried/scared about and the actual reason he hasn’t proposed but him not wanting to ask is a pretty terrible excuse. I just would ignore it, not talk about marriage with him so he doesn’t feel pressured and maybe that will be what he needs. Good luck!

Post # 5
9556 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would pretend the ring doesn’t exist. Try not to think about it. Don’t look  at it. It soudns like  it’s unhealthy for both  of you. Focus on what your relationship is now. It’s still early.  Don’t stress. 

Post # 6
2798 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You say you feel like you’re not good enough because he’s been engaged before. Maybe he’s waiting because he made a mistake in the past by asking before he was truly ready, and he doesn’t want to make that mistake with you. You’ve only been together for a year. it kind of seems like you’re more ready for the engagement than a marriage. You’re so concerned with the ring and your friend “beating you to it” that you might be losing focus of what is important: your relationship. 

Post # 7
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You guys havven’t been together all that long really… it’s still early to be saying you’re ready to spend you’re whole life with someone you’ve only known a year.  That being said, some people just know, right?  However, since he’s been engaged before, I can completely understand him wanting to be more careful and completely sure.  My friend was engaged and shit hit the fan… now she’s been single a year and is adamant about taking her time and being sure before she trusts someone that hard again.  

My sister’s bf also made comments about timelines ie: engaged by christmas… engaged by october, engaged by summer…. and those have come and passed.  But they’ve been together only 1.5 year… And they’re older, more mature.. he’s late 30s… he’s confided to my FI that he loves her and she’s the one, but for his own comfort, he wants to be together 2 years before proposal…

I think it’s true when they say the honey moon period lasts the first 3 years.  After a year, I thought I knew my FI inside and out… then after 2 years I thought NOW I know my FI inside out… well, after 5 years now, I’m just now finally feeling like I really know this guy, the gaga honeymoon phase is passed and we still love each other to bits.  

I bet if you and your FI stop talking about dead lines or timelines and just … chill… he’ll propose sooner.  It’s probably the pressure that’s getting to him… Knowing he told you it would be by X, and then X comes and he’s gotten himself all worked up.  Just let it come when it’s ready.  The ring is there.  That means he loves you and you’re the one he wants.  Just give him time to feel comfortable when he asks.  You don’t want him to ask bc he felt pressured rather than because he felt the time was right….


Good luck my dear!

Post # 8
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was reading previous comments just now and was thinking…. a PP poster said something about wondering what he’s scared about now… I wonder if it’s just normal fear bc marriage is such a HUGE committment, one that many take far too lightly.  I think of it like sky diving…. you know you wanna do it, you’re totally pumped for it, you get in the plane and ready to go, but when it’s time to jump – that’s when the fear hits you.  but you still jump.  Right now it probably just feels so much more real bc he has the ring and he’s a little scared.  He’s ready and wants it, just a little scared bc he’s been hurt before.  Just give him time on his own to do it when he’s ready… he will 🙂

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