Post # 1
I really hope that I dont sound like a brat. I have been happily married been for a little over a week. My wedding, eh it didn’t go too well to me. A lot of my husband’s friends and family didn’t show. It made me really sad coming down the aisle. I was thinking, “where is everyone?” we felt a little abandoned. We got over that. A lot of people said that our reception was nice, but in the back of my mind I’m worried that they are trying to be nice. Our reception was about 30 minutes from the church driving. It was horrible traffic that day and people got lost. I provided two different directions for people to follow. I felt so bad that they couldn’t find the site. Then it was a parking issue. Days before the wedding, the site owner told me that my guests couldn’t park in a certain area. So I told them to park somewhere else. The day of it turns out that they could’ve parked there anyway. My guests had a hard time finding parking as a result. The elevator wasn’t working and we had to be on the 3rd floor. As a result, the crew had less time to prepare because they couldn’t get up. My food was good but it wasnt as good as the tasting. And it was much less than what I was told. I could tell me guests where still hungry. The serving was slow. We paid for juices that wasn’t served. I was told more food was coming. Guests were leaving early. I dont know if they really had to get back home like they said or if they wasn’t pleased. I was expecting more food and fast services. I was so mortified. Everyone told me to relax cause I’m a bit of a control freak. But nothing was the way I expected it. I actually feel guilty that people gave gifts and money. I feel like I wasted some of their time by having them drive from two states away. I dont know what to do. Should I apologize for how the reception went? I can’t just get this off my mind that people left hungry like that. I dont even understand how there wasn’t extra food considering a quarter of the guests didn’t show. I often spaz about things and think too much about things but with this situation, I feel like my feelings are valid. I don’t even know what to say to my guests about what happened. No one complained to me, but I can tell they weren’t happy. And that makes me so embarrassed and sad.
Post # 3
No need to apologize. When you spend months (at least) planning every little detail, disappointments are bound to arise. Everything you described above sounds like it was out of your control (food service, traffic, parking, etc). I’m sorry that some of your loved ones weren’t at your ceremony; honestly, I’d be bummed about that too. The most important thing, though, is the special day with you and your husband and the people who were there to celebrate with you. Even if there were some snafuus people seemed unhappy about (everyone gets grumpy in traffic), I’m sure they weren’t unhappy about spending the day with you!
I was at a wedding a while back where the waitstaff totally forgot to serve our entire table! It took about three course until they realized–we were all sitting there watching plates being cleared from the tables around us and we didn’t have even a bread basket! Although we were displeased at the time, it wasn’t anything we held against the bride and groom and it certainly didn’t ruin our night.
Please don’t let this ruin your newly-wedded bliss!
Post # 4
@oneovakind: Oh Sweetie relax! I’m sure you are your wedding’s biggest critic. People went there to see you marry the person you love and to celebrate. By no means should you apologize. I don’t think you are seeing the big picture, your guests do not come to be wined and dined with five star service. I know I wouldn’t drive states away for a meal, but I would to see my friend or family member get married. I think all these tv shows, magazines, venders and even weddingbee get brides so worried about competing to have the best wedding. Really the point of the day was the commitment you made.
Post # 5
Oh, I feel reallly bad for you. Please don’t beat yourself up, none of these things were in your control! I would hope that your guests would understand that and not have any hard feelings.
It’s really hard to plan for such a special day, dream about it and then have things go differently than you expected based on your plans, ideas, contracts etc. Stay positive and know that your guests came to support you and show their love, not for just a free meal. Yes….as good hostesses and hosts, brides and grooms often feel very responsibie for the enjoyment of their guests (and they should) but these things were beyond your control and you shouldn’t blame yourself.
I would, however, do 2 things:
1. focus on how wonderful it is to be married to the love of your life, and bask in the good things that did happen on your wedding day
2. firmly speak to the vendors involved in your disappointments and negotiate some money to be returned to you based on the failure on their part to uphold their contract (e.g. less food than you paid for, juices, etc)
Post # 6
You should absolutely NOT apologize. Your loved ones were there to share a meaningful day in the life of you amd your hubby. I guarantee they cared more about how beautiful you looked walking down the aisle, and how happy you two seem together than any silly food. We’re our own worst critics so be easy on yourself and your wedding. You can’t control waiters and I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to you. And CONGRATULATIONS on getting married!
Post # 7
Great advice from cdncinnamongirl, just keep in mind that you are married now (!!!) and the wedding is just a celebration of that. You have a lifetime to enjoy your life with each other now, and that is what is most important.
Post # 8
Things don’t work out sometimes, but I’m sure no one holds it against you! Those who are near and dear are just happy to share your big day.
Post # 9
I bet it wasn’t as bad as you imagine, since you said you are a control freak. My first wedding, I hired the best venue for our area and then proceeded to worry that my food, or the service sucked, etc. I did not enjoy my reception because of this.
I only heard good reviews from the guests after, which made me wish I had trusted the people I paid to do what they did best, they did awesome without my worrying. I’m willing to bet your wedding was fine!
Post # 11
Thanks ladies! I really wish I was able to have enjoyed my day more. I was just so worried about the guests. To me, the most disappointing thing was the food. Some if it wasn’t in the caterers control. He had to cook off site and bring the food in. He told me that timing was important for my venue. With very high ceilings, the food can get cold fast. With the elevator not working, it slowed everything down. That explains how the food was tasty yet not as good as the first time I had it. It still doesn’t explain why I didn’t have an abundance of food like he promised and the slow, shotty service from his lack of staff. We worked with him for months planning the menu. They were suppose to serve a certain way that would assure that no one would have to wait. They didn’t. I just hate confrontation with people. I want to say something to him. I know he honestly was trying his best with what he had to work with, but I am just so upset that people had to wait and left still hungry. Like I said, Im so afraid they left because of the food. It felt like everyone ran out because they had a bad time. I dont think he took my money and ran with it. I think he didn’t plan properly and told me he could give me more than what he realized. People were asking me is that all the food. And i said no, the staff is suppose to bring out more. They barely did. And they didn’t know what they were serving. We had turkey and one staff told people it was beef. So people were turning away food, thinking they couldn’t eat it when they could.
Post # 12
Then again, this is based off of a few people. And my critical mind analyzing everything. I know they say you can’t please everyone. But I’m not sure if anyone was pleased. With the way a lot of people left, I just feel they weren’t. It probably was fine and a few people were hungry, I just have no clue. Part of me wants to call everyone and check up and ask for their opinions but I know that’s going way too far lol. And if what I think was true and they all were hungry and displeased, that would totally crush me because I worked so hard on everything.