(Closed) I'm so frustrated with my family & friends

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a destination wedding in 10 days and a month out was when all the guests needed to be confirmed. I think 10 months is way to far away to expect people to rsvp and put money down! Lots can happen in ten months. Plan for how many people you think are coming and worry about specifics closer to.

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

I second Alberta….way too early to be freaking out about this.

Post # 5
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@AlbertaLolita:  i know how stressful Destination Wedding are, im having one too

Realistically though, most people wont confirm ten months out. what you need to do is make a rough estimate…and most venues (like hotels) will let you adjust numbers up to a month before. err on the side of caution and know that a lot of people cant make weddings abroad, and base your numbers off that

Post # 6
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would never put a deposit down that early. I just attended a Destination Wedding, and we booked about 3 months out from the event, which, as far as I know, is standard for booking travel arrangements (obviously, you can later, but, for the best deals & such, 3 months is preferable). I would be really annoyed if I was getting harassed 10 months out from the wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with all the PPs. Just take the word of the people that told you they’ll be there. Your wedding is almost a year aways. Even though it would be easier for you, most people won’t book until the wedding closer (probably next summer).

Post # 8
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with PPs. We went to a wedding in India last year, booking tix and hotel only 3 months in advance.  If people can’t decide now, there is not much you can do. Are room deposits refundable? Are you dependent on having a minimum number of guests at the same resport to get some sort of discount or free upgrades?  I wouldn’t worry too much…

Post # 9
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t worry about it too much.  With the holidays approaching, people are probably more worried about getting gifts for people and other expenses.  I say send out a reminder in late January/early February around tax return time.  

Post # 11
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

Thats exactly why we just cancelled our destination wedding. No one was commiting. They kept saying “they would love to be there” but never contacted me back to put the deposit down.   Others assumed they would get a better deal booking last minute. In the end we needed 10ppl committed in order to secure the group rate, and pathetically we didnt have that and it was cancelled.  Now I’m back to square one trying to plan my Plan B wedding.Yeehaw

Post # 12
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My side of the guests all had to travel to France from the US. I gave them 7 months notice and I think people started making plans around 2 -3 months out from the wedding. I did however ask if they were leaning towards going or not and had to push a few extended family members for answers (they felt bad about not going, but I totally got it was a big and expensive trip so it was fine by me). 

Maybe unofficially try to get a head count number (as least get rid of all the “no” answers from your list) so you can start looking at the venues. Otherwise, don’t sweat it too much, you are still pretty far out from the date. 

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@RaysBride89:  Yeah don’t trip. I’m 5 1/2 months away from my wedding day and I’m a destination bride as well. My fiance’s mom still hasn’t gotten her passport yet so that means she and her boyfriend haven’t booked a flight or their hotel yet. We have a block of rooms reserved and we didn’t use a travel agent. I don’t have a lot of people booked and we sent our Save the Dates out in August.  I’m sending out invitations in waves starting next week.  RSVP deadline will be January 18.  You will not even know how many people are firmly coming until like everyone has been saying, maybe 3 months out.  I can estimate, but really don’t have a clue yet.  Flights are way too high 10 months out!  Just relax, things will come together.

Post # 14
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s really early to be so upset about people not confirming. Also, and not that it actually matters, October 10 is just over 11 months away.

Post # 15
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@RaysBride89:  oooh good choice, thats exactly what im doing!! so guests can stay anywhere they want (though im encouraging them to stay at same resort…its not compulsory)

My family booked a month ago…so 6 months before the wedding, as theyre coming internationally. All the guests in Mexico (ie 90%) havent booked yet so i feel your pain!

Post # 16
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your profile says you are getting married in Oct of next year. If that is correct than it is really really early for people to fully commit especially if they have to pay a deposit and possibly loose that $$ but if if that wasn’t the case just give them time. At least they know that when it will be way ahead of time so they can start to save and plan in the hopes that they will be able to go. I had a friend that had a destination wedding and she let people know about it way in advanced but did not have to commit until 3 months before.

Just give them time and realize that we are in a economic hardship in the States.

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