(Closed) I’m so furious I no longer think I can sleep.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry.  πŸ™  I haven’t read any of your other posts about your family, but I do know what hurtful comments can do.  *hugs*

Post # 4
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

awww… well you shouldnt let them walk all over you. good for you for standing up for yourself!!! and dont worry. theyll get over it. πŸ™‚ hugs!

Post # 5
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that you shouldn’t be a doormat, but perhaps laying off FB posts and not meeting people’s asinine comments with any kind of feedback is the way to go for the time being?  It sounds like everyone’s a little riled up, so maybe it’s time to take the high road and just not say anything about anything…. at least for a little while.  I’m certainly not saying forever, but it sounds like even if you do stick up for yourself, you don’t get anywhere.  Why waste your breath?  Ya know?


Sucks  πŸ™

Post # 6
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you are so hurt and sad. Your family knows just how to manipulate you, how to get a rise out of you, and make you crazy and there must be a part of you that in some ways is used to it, so you default to it even though it is harmful. You need to find a way to not let it affect you any more or find ways to combat their words in the moment, or monitor/lessen your time with them altogether for your own sake. Whatever the case, whatever the issue, you should not be made to feel this way, be put in the middle or on the defensive about anything. Whether it be your Fiance not being present at that wedding due to work, whatever. Don’t let them corner you like this, don’t play into their tactics. Rise above it to a point where you are neutral and they can’t poke at you. Walk away. Hang up. Don’t text. Don’t email them back. Smile. Change the subject. Finesse your way through it all. Find ways to not response to 11 text messages (CRAZY!) or respond with a simple “I regret you were hurt. Thanks for letting me know. I hope you can now feel better about the situation.” And end it there. Because then it is on THEM, not you. You’ve apologized for their feeling hurt and YOU are moving on. If they persist, don’t respond. Find the grace in your heart to deal with these people and let their words wash off your back. Otherwise, they’ll continue to pull you down this hole and that’s no way to live. You deserve better. Stand up for yourself by removing them from standing on you in the first place. Hang in there!

Post # 8
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: You’re welcome. There’s something about the way you described everything that really resonates with me; I can feel the weight of this on you and sense that you’ve probably been treated this way by them for most of your life. There’s something gossipy in the whole “where is your FI” conversation you explained, like everyone was in on it and had something to say. Sheesh! Here you are getting married, a woman, and trying to shake their grasp on you from belittling you, right? Among other annoying things they pull? Whatever their reasons for toying with you (jealousy, control, their own regrets or misery of their life choices dumped on you) the antidote is a combo of poise, strength and deep breaths! πŸ˜‰

Post # 9
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve been keeping up with your posts and I have to say I’m so sorry πŸ™ But it’s great that you stood up for what you believe in, regarless of all the shit that you gotta deal with now!

Post # 10
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with Firefigther Bride-I read your post about your uncle’s wedding yeseterday and I think you handled yourself well in that situation and you did the right thing by sticking up for what you believe in and sticking up to ignorance, in general.  Sorry you are having such a rough weekend!

Post # 11
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you are awesome for what you did.  It may be family, but it doesn’t make their ignorance okay.  I’m sorry you have to deal with their drama now.  I hope things get better for you!

Post # 12
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

*hugs* you completely, totally did the right thing. Right now Its 1am here and Im on vacay and I am replying to just you to make sure you know I totally and completely support how you handled yourself, stood up for yourself. You dont have to stand for this behaviour, and you dont have to allow them to walk all over you. Im proud of you. *hugs*.

PM if you need to dear

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