Post # 1
Let me start off by saying the only thing I want is to marry my Fiance. The ceremony, wedding, etc. all just fluff to me. My opinion, not necessarily anyone elses. When we first discussed getting married, Fiance had ideas about this grand party (not at all my style) so we came to a compromise. This was great because what better way to start off a marriage than to come to a compromise. Well, it is now four months before our planned wedding date and we have not decided on a venue eventhough we have outfits, a photographer, and an officiant, and I’m so ready to throw on my gown tomorrow and head to the JoP (Offices are closed today because of the snow). The big problem is, though I know he’d do it because he loves me, I feel like I’d be cheating him out of what he wants. So it won’t happen that way, but I need some help from flipping my lid with this planning thing.
Post # 3
I think that all brides hot the point you are at right now. About 3-4 months before my wedding, I was SO sick of wedding crap. So, I took a month or two off and just mentally regrouped. That being said, at that point I had all my major vendors except DJ and officiant already booked.
I think that in the next couple weeks, you should really make an effort to nail down a venue/food and then take a little break from the wedding stuff. Most of the small stuff can be dealt with in the last month-6 weeks.
Good luck, lady. Feel free to PM me if you want an advice or anything.
Post # 4
I was in a similar situation as you. I wanted to do an immediate family only wedding because I am not into planning, and was just looking forward to the marriage part. I’m going to re-post something I wrote to someone else:
Take a deeeeeeeep breath.
I hated planning my wedding. I tried really, really hard to love planning. . .but I didn’t. People kept telling me, “enjoy the planning, it will be over so fast and you’ll never get to do it again!” Other friends getting married gushed over picking out cakes and flowers. I just didn’t get it. It was stressful and hard, and cost so much money, sometimes I had to settle for things I didn’t like as much, other things I wanted fell to the wayside. I cried a lot, and complained to my husband a lot. I even stopped posting on wedding bee for awhile because it stressed me out!
When the day came, it was awesome. I finally said, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”. I let everyone else do the worrying and just enjoyed myself. The DIY projects I had wanted to do? Didn’t cross my mind. The rentals that weren’t as nice as I wished they could be? Didn’t pay attention to them. The ceremony and marriage that came out of it? Everything I hoped they would be. It will all work out in the end.
Listen, overall it is hard to do planning when it wasn’t what you wanted, and planning is not something you are in to. Just think about the stuff that you want there and what you think will be fun, and that’s the most important thing. If you need any help or suggestions, feel free to PM me.
Post # 5
if you want a traditional wedding, you have time to get everything done! make to do lists…the knot and mindy weiss have great ones (mindy weiss has a timeline for short engagements that would be very helpful). the venue is the most important, so start there. where are you in MD?
you can do this as long as you prioritize!
Post # 6
I’m going to throw this out here: have a heart-to-heart with your fiance and make sure he still wants the big party. I drove myself crazy trying to plan the whole thing, then finally got to the breaking point (a little bit past where you are now, emotionally) and asked if he’d be fine with just going to the JoP. It turns out, his vision had changed as well. We were avoiding discussing it, though, because I’d gotten so far into the planning and we were afraid of hurting each other or dashing each others’ hopes. So, it’s possible that your fiance feels the same way you do.
However, it may not be the case. If he still wants the big wedding, take a deeeep breath. You can do it!
Post # 7
Thanks guys! Really, it helped a lot to read these. I’m certainly talking to Fiance about it. At least, once he’s done with his internship applications. He’s very practical and thoughtful so I’m sure we’ll figure it out. I’m sitting here with Google Docs and vendor quotes and I’m just not feeling up to making any decisions, but I have to make some sort of decision, I know.
@kitzy: We are in Baltimore, but originally we were planning for a wedding on the Cape. Our family is in the New England/NY area so we were planning it there, but that’s another thing we’re going to talk about.
@Brianalaura: I’m so totally looking forward to our wedding day, no matter what we end up doing.