Post # 1
i have a friend we will call L. L has a bad track records for guys, her previous boyfrined turned out to be a child molester and a cheater so she had to leave him. a few months ago L met another guy we will call S. S was a nice guy, never drank dosent do drugs. pretty straight forward guy. i was happy for her. they moved in acuired a couple fur kids and were happy. recently S started drinking. a lot. he did a total 180 when he drank. he was being controlling and crazy. he thought he was going to jail one night so he stabbed HIMSELF in the arm….i warned her when that happened if he keeps drinking he will only get worse, but she insisted she was in love and stayed with him.
late this afternoon i got a text message from L that S was in jail. i wasked why and she told me he put her in a choke hold and wrapped his legs arond her stomach and pinned her to the couch this morning. and he was drunk. she finally listened and isnt letting him back in the house. she has to get a restraining order in the morning and call his parole officer to let him know what happened with S.
im so sad that she had to go through this to see who he really is but im so proud of her for calling the poilice and making the descision to not let him back in the house. we sent a good 4 hours talking about everything and letting her get it all off her chest and i gave her advice. shes worried about being alone (ya shes one of those) and i told her she needs to not worry about finding a new guy yet. she needs to learn how to trust again and feel good about her self. i told her to do everything opposite she has been doing. quit looking for someone to take care of or to take care of you and find someone who lives on their own and dont move in. let them be them and you be you. she needs to elarn to trust a man and see who he really is before she makes big steps like sharing a place.
do any of you bees have any other advice i can pass on to her? ill be spending the morning with her after im done with my errands. he gets released from jail in an hour so ill be up for a while. i just feell terrible she had to go through all this to find out who he really is.
Post # 3
Wow! If she focuses on doing what makes her feel good about herself and her life-new hobbies, whatever, the right guy will find her when she least expects it. I’ve been married for nearly 30 years -it worked for me.
Post # 4
and call his parole officer
huh, is the parole officer from something prior to this incident???
Post # 5
ya he was on parole for drunk driving from a while back. arizona has crazy dui laws.
i told her to figure out who she is again. the last couple guys she has been with made her into them (i hope that makes sence) she dosent know who L is any more she knows who L and S is but not just L as one person. i told her she needed to figure out her and her hobbies and likes and dislikes. she dosent have to answer to anyone just get her things in order. she has a car, an apartment, and a job she is an independant woman. now she can go do what she wants and not have to drag him along because she dosent want him to be mad she did something by herself. when she lived next door to me she had to sneak out at night to go to walmart with me and hope he didnt wake up while she was gone.
Post # 6
how can a DUI law be crazy? anyways, my thoughts are you have to like yourself and be happy with yourself to attract the right people – women that go from one relationship to another because they are afraid of being alone are the ones that usually have a bad track record. she needs to find new hobbies and get out and get busy and like her life which means hopefully she wont settle for less and people will be attracted to her positive attitude
Post # 7
just the way az carries out the dui penalties is stricter than almost every other state. im not saying its crazy like stupid im saying its crazy with how it handles penalties (look up tent city, thats mostly dui inmates) i told her to focus on hobbies and being herself not someone else.
she started thinking she over reacted earlier and i told her she didnt. he is only getting worse and he could have killed her today. i even told her that if he had gripped her neck any harder he could have snapped her neck off. she has bruises all over her neck and i took pictures for her wfor when she goes to court.