Post # 1
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
I know it’s my eating habits that are doing me in. I need to get myself in shape and start working out so I will start eating better. I’m sick of this. I’m gaining weight all over the place, and I wake up almost every day with something hurting. I don’t want to complain all the time so I try to push past it but it’s so frustrating.
Fiance says it’s my mentality. By dwelling in my pain I’m allowing myself to feel it. But I feel like I can’t win. I’m exhausted so I sleep in and when I wake up my head is splitting. I’ve been really struggling with stomach aches lately (super nauseous, pain, feeling like my tummy is doing flips all day). Nothing sounds good to eat anymore so I just try to eat the thing that sounds the best for me to eat but generally it isn’t the best. I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. I know that my new birth control patch is probably having an affect on these things but how long does that usually last as a beginning side effect? And I’m sure that my binge drinking the night before didn’t really help me yesterday. But I’m just sick of all of this. I want to feel vibrant all the time.
Post # 3
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
We would all like to feel vibrant all the time:) But seriously, I think your Fiance is right, it’s probably mostly (but not all) in your head. You sound a tiny bit depressed and I know how hard it is to get out of a rut. I’m going to tell you what I tell everybody else: Do yoga, do yoga, do yoga. It gets you in shape mentally and physically. Helps with digestion and headaches. Really, it’s a whole mind/body cure. Plus, it gets your body in rockin’shape.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon:)
Post # 4
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
@PutABirdOnIt:Is it possible to feel super happy and know that these are the best times of your life but still be depressed? I’ve been really struggling these past few weeks with feeling down and I know that some of it is due to being stressed with everything I’m doing.
Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
Sounds like depression. Since I suffer from depression, I notice I can make a mountain out of a mole hill. If you have a chance, go talk to a therapist. If you don’t want to go that route, @ least go do something nice for yourself. Go get your nails, hair, or get a massage. Will definitely help you relax and feel better about yourself.
fyi- Control the drinking cause alcohol is a natural depressant. I do the same when I get stressed and feel crappy the next day.
Feel Better:)
Post # 6
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
@SweetRose2011: OMG, yes it’s totally possible. Your state of mind has nothing to do with what’s going on around you. Good things can be happening and you might still feel off or vice-versa. I’ve struggled for a long time with these feelings, so I can relate.
But if you can’t get past this on your own, please get some help. A therapist can help and they can decide if this is a passing mood or if you’re really depressed and need some medication. People still don’t understand that if you’re truly depressed, you cannot just will yourself to snap out of it. If that were true I could have saved myself a fortune and a lot of trouble.
Anyway, you are not alone here.
Post # 7
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
@PutABirdOnIt: Thank you so much. That’s the one thing that I haven’t been able to understand lately is that so many things are going so right for me and I feel so happy at times but then I feel like on my days off I have no motivation to do anything but lie around. I get anxious at times for no reason, and for the last few weeks all I’ve wanted to do is cry. Usually my therapy consists of writing for myself and that is very cathartic but lately it’s not helping. I feel no motivation to work out. No motivation to do anything lately. I’m doing well in school and everything else, but things make me more upset than they used to. I know that when I was in high school I struggled with depressed (I was never diagnosed but I slept ALL the time. I couldn’t get myself to do anything. Homework was a struggle. I felt like no one understood me)
ETA: It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone.
Post # 8
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
@SweetRose2011: Oh man, not to scare you but you sound like my mental twin. I had the same symptoms, including the anxiety. I never felt therapy did much good-did enough of it though. I always though I was depressed but about 4 years ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II. It manifests mainly as depression and the “manic” phases are not as severe as Bridal Party I.
Anyway, I do take medication that allows me to function but believe me, I have days where I have to force myself out of the house and into the world. Some days are better than others. My husband has a hard time understanding this disease and that my coping skills are not good. The tendency to isolate is really strong, isn’t it? And of course, it’s the worst thing you can do.
I’m not a medical doctor and I’m not a therapist but if you were my friend, I would tell you to go see a doctor because you don’t need to suffer, whether it’s straight depression or something else. Some people (usually those who have never been depressed a day in their lives) don’t believe in medication, but I would be completely non-functional without it. Just making an appointment will make you feel better.
Post # 9
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
It does sound like you could be struggling with depression. Just getting through your daily routine should not require such a struggle. It’s not an issue of bad attitude, it’s your brain chemistry that has gotten into this rut and there are ways out. Definitely look into seeking help for it.
As far as the nausea, ugh I totally feel you on that today. Though if you’re on the patch, that is very high dose and might be contributing to feeling sick.
Post # 10
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
Weird emotional side effects from birth control can last for about 3 months, usually they go away then if they are goign to go away. I am currently in need of switching my birth control, been on it 5 months and I have been up and down emotionally this whole time and it’s getting worse. I hope you feel better!
Post # 11
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
@PutABirdOnIt:What is the best way to find a doctor to go to discuss this? Would you recommend a therapist or a regular doctor? (I at this moment have neither). The idea of medicine makes me worried but I don’t want to feel like this on my wedding day. I suffer when I see my family and fear that they judge me (probably irrational fears but I know they do judge people, I’ve seen it!) I’m nervous about my wedding because of this. Fiance loves me and he helps to make me happy but I know his ex-girlfriend was bipolar and they ended up breaking up because there was a lot of problems with her being there for him. I’m not worried about that as I am 10000% committed and love my man with everything in me. I feel bad that I’m so irritable lately because I know it’s stressing him out.
Thank you ladies for your support though! Really. I’m forcing myself to go out today and get myself going.
Post # 12
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
@SweetRose2011: I know what you mean! When I am eating right and working out and stuff I feel so much better. But when I eat crap and am lazy I feel awful.
I hope you feel better soon
Post # 13
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
@SweetRose2011: This may be long, so I apologize in advance:) The best way to get a doctor is by referral, if you have say, a derm or obgyn that you like, ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. That’s assuming you’re insured. If not (and I’m not) then I would just go to a local free clinic. I used to think that all the doctors there were second-rate. Not true. Most of the best doctors donate their time to these clinics and they are good. The fee is a sliding scale.
And if you’re not happy with a doctor you see, just keep searching. It’s not an easy road, insured or not, it’s a lot of trial and error. But keep trying until you find someone you like and trust. Also, people will try one medication and claim it doesn’t work for them and give up. Same thing, it’s trial and error but keep trying. You have to be your own advocate to make sure you are getting what you need.
Now, I’ve had family members judge me about my illness and you just can’t pay any attention. It’s hard but they will never understand or have empathy unless they have the same problem, so try not to dwell on what they think. I know when you’re young, it’s hard not to give a fuck what other people think, but it gets easier-I promise:) You need to take care of yourself first. Always.
As far as your Fiance, at least he has some experience dealing with a similar problem. But you are NOT her. So, if you know he is going to be there for you, even more reason to get treatment. It will even you out emotionally and, in turn, help your relationship in the long run. And you can’t just wish this away. It just is. And it sucks. I hope this helped you a little.
Oh, one more thing-did you say you were a published writer in one of your other posts? Because some of the most creative brilliant people in history suffered from this. Yay us!
Post # 14
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
@PutABirdOnIt: yes, I just published my first poem! I was thinking about this earlier how some of the most creative, well-respected people in history have been crazy or have had some sort of mental problem (depression, bipolar, etc). I know that whatever it is I can overcome it. I forced myself to get out today and I’ve had a wonderful day. I think I’m going to try to improve my outlook a little more and if things don’t get better, talk to Fiance and see where I can go from there. I can probably get referred from my OBGYN since that’s my only real doctor. I’m sure I can do it. It’s just going to be a struggle. And like you said, I need to find something that works.
Post # 15
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
Congrats on getting published and keep on writing! You sound a little better already:) Take care sweetie*
Post # 16
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
@SweetRose2011: I just went off hormonal birth control because I was feeling just like you. I was sooooooooo emotional, soooooo irritated at everyone, felt so sorry for myself all the time, was no longer able to see anything rationally, took EVERYTHING personally, and felt so depressed, even though my wedding is right around the corner. I was seriously worried about my mental state. My doctor put me on Zoloft and it made me so zoned out and drugged feeling, I only could cope with it for two days, and by that time I had decided hormonal birth control wasn’t worth drugging myself with antidepressants when I really just needed my own hormones back. Personally, I think I’m progesten intolerant and really like my estrogen (which BC pills don’t give you a lot of). But that’s just my experience.
I’ve been off BC for a week, and am gradually starting to feel better. The biggest difference I’ve noticed is that I can actually think about a situation rationally again. Which means I’m not nearly as emotional in my relationships–which is a GREAT thing for my poor, long-suffering fiance!
Hope you get things sorted out soon!
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