(Closed) I’m so torn…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How do I deal with this?
    Tell him. The trip isn't a bad idea, but you have to come clean about this. : (40 votes)
    73 %
    Keep it to yourself. He probably had a different experience and it might cause hurt feelings. : (9 votes)
    16 %
    Go the middle of the road. I'll explain.... : (1 votes)
    2 %
    I don't know what to tell you. That's a sucky position to be in. Especially as a newlywed. : (5 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think you should tell him you were disappointed with your wedding, and that you’re upset with how he acted. Communication is key here!

    Post # 4
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Mrs. Puffin: I would have to agree with this.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t know what to tell you.

    I know that if Mr. E. was that much of an @sshole at our wedding, he’d have known how upset I was by the next day, at the latest. (Probably the night of.) I can’t imagine biting my tongue for months on something like that.

    Good luck.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013
    Post # 7
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think if you’re just open and honest with him, it will go a long way. I find that sometimes it helps to just write things down beforehand and really think about how you’re going to word everything. If he loves you, he’ll understand and appreciate your honesty! You can’t let something like this eat away at you, as it could grow into much deeper issues. Good luck!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think I would at least tell him you wish there were more pictures and that it had been more romantic…or just suggest doing something romantic like your trip to Ireland. I can’t believe he didn’t respect the romantic part of the wedding that much…I imagine he was just nervous, but it’s still hurtful. I think a trip to Ireland in a year would go a long way.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I can’t imagine holding back my feelings like that.. I probably would have let him know immediately that he was being a jerk.  I definitely say tell him.  Telling him will probably also help you to get him on board with the vow renewal.  If he knows that he ruined the wedding for you, I’m sure he’ll be willing to do anything to make it up to you!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Well, there are ways of telling him that don’t make it out like you’re accusing him.

    Like, “I want to do a vow renewal with just us when we go to Ireland because at our wedding I felt like the emphasis was on partying rather than the commitment we made to each other.”

    You don’t have to spell out that it was his emphasis on partying rather than your guests that makes you feel that way.

    I think the thing to consider is, is this really a secret you want to carry for the rest of your life,  pretending to your husband and everyone else that you think it was awesome? And how will he feel in 20-30 years if he finds out? (e.g. if you have a daughter, and in planning her wedding you let slip something like, “I wish I’d had a smaller, more intimate wedding; we did a big one and your father acted like the whole thing was just another big party. I hated my wedding.”)

    The topic ‘I’m so torn…’ is closed to new replies.

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