Post # 1
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
I’m wondering if it’s just me, or is this happening to anyone else. Ever since i got engaged my favorite cousin who i consider a friend has changed up. She accidently forgot that my bf was proposing and didn’t call to congratulate me. For weeks. When she saw my ring turns around and says wow a “4 carat ring,” when clearly it was not almost as if to mock my ring. But i overlooked it, thinking i was being a little over sensitive. Then when i do things and don’t tell her she gets upset that she’s not involved and wants to know everything i’ve done. Then when i tell her she acts less than interested. I’m stunned that she would act this way. She barely calls me anymore and i don’t understand what happened. Also i could not have bored her with my planning because she hardly calls or picks up to talk. my feelings are soooo hurt.
Sorry just venting
Post # 3
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
Sorry that she is trying to ruin your super exciting news. Its simple, she is just jealous. Stay upbeat and she is the one who is losing out.
Post # 4
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’m sorry you feel that she has changed. There could be many reasons for her change in attitude. Jealousy, too much wedding talk, stress, etc. Maybe there is something going on in her life that you don’t know about?
There was one thing I was confused about though. Why did she have to call you when you got engaged? Shouldn’t you call her and break the news and then she can congratulate you? I don’t quite see how that was on her.
Regardless, enjoy yourself. If you guys are really close, she’ll come around eventually.
Post # 5
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
@zippylef as to the confusion why she didn’t callme. well all of us my fiance, her, her boyfriend and i. My fiance had only told her that he was going to propose and let her know that he had brought the ring and told her how he was going to propose etc. So he proposes and i try getting in touch with her to wish her a merry christmas and let her know. she isn’t avail to pick up. So when i finally see her i’m all giddy etc and she asks whats up with me etc. she didn’t acknowledge me. And as far as calling me we usually would be excited and called, normally she wouldn’t have been able to contain herself. this is why my feelings are sooo hurt we are/were really close.
Post # 6
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
Definitely sounds like she’s jealous. You said she has a boyfriend – I’d bet anything she’s dying for him to propose, and jealous that you got engaged first. It’s unfortunate, but if she’s been waiting for a long time (or even if she hasn’t but still really wants to get engaged), that would definitely explain her behavior. I think it’s pretty common for this to happen to newly-engaged ladies. I am really lucky that most of my friends are not even close to being interested in marriage, so I haven’t encountered anything like this.
If you two are close, maybe you could address the problem head on? Say something like “I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed pretty upset since I got engaged, and it really hurts me to see you like this. If I’ve done something to upset you, please let me know.”
Post # 7
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee
I agree with GirlWithARing. It’s ll about jealousy, especially since you said she has a boyfirend (not husband or fiance). It’s incredibly common. If she continues to be a bear you could talk to her. Otherwise, I would probably try to let it slide.
Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
This whole wedding process has taught me alot and im very grateful to have this experience in my life. Weddings brings out the best and worst in people and especially loved ones. It sux but its reality. Ever since my sister dropped out of being my Maid/Matron of Honor via email,(for no reason what so ever) I’ve learned to deal with other people’s selfishness and not let it affect me. Just keep that smile and give her back all the anger and dont carry it on yourself, this is your time and it only comes once!
Post # 9
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement, I don’t even now how to begin to address it so i may just ignore it and hope she comes around even if its after the wedding.
Post # 10
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
People deal with jealousy differently; perhaps she’s been bitten by the green-eyed monster. Let her know she’s special to you and that you appreciate the time she DOES take out of her schedule to spend with you–hopefully she’ll take that as a cue to act like an adult and be more civilized.
And btw, if someone said that about my ring, I’d punch them (: but that’s just me. LOL.
Post # 11
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
I agree that it’s possible that your cousin might be jealous (heck, maybe even likely), but why don’t you invite her out to lunch and ask her what’s going on?
It’s possible that what is going on has nothing to do with you…I know as a bride I often think that people are really into my wedding, but I’ve heard rumors that people have things outside of that going on in their lives. 🙂
If you guys were close and you consider her a friend, I think you should try to find out what is going on.
Post # 12
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
Sorry everyone but i’m returning here to vent some more on my precious cousin. So today she calls me and asks if i mind if she has her mothers 70th birthday party at the same venue where i’m having my wedding before my wedding.WTF of all the places in all the world why would you pick that place. A place you never even heard about. And then ask me if i mind hell yeah i mind. After my wedding i’m just not talking to her anymore. i have a short fuse and a shorter tolerance level.
Post # 13
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
Aw, she’s probably so jealous and that’s why she’s acting up. Maybe you should just sit her down and bring it to her attention. She’s going to try to get away with this and more so maybe you should tell her now that you know what’s she’s doing and you aren’t having it no more.