(Closed) I’m starting to hate one of my bridesmaids

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@lovesgerdie08:

honestly to me you sound controlling and unmoveable. I don’t blame your former moh for blowing you off and at this point you should cut her to save both her and you the drama. It’s none of your business what she does with HER money or what she spends it on. With your remaining bridesmaids I suggest you lessen the reins you have on them and find out some way to take a step back and look at the bigger picture (you’re marrying the love of your life)!!

Post # 4
Member
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Ditch her. You don’t have time to be babysitting a bridesmaid, particularly with school in  full swing. If she doesn’t have her dress then she simply can’t be a member of the wedding party. Stop chasing after her and cut your losses.

I think that asking BMs to pay for their dresses allows problems like this to arise. Every wedding I’ve ever been involved in, the bride has purchased the dresses and then there is a certain expectation that the BMs give her an equivalent gift.

Post # 5
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

All the weddings I’ve been in or heard about have required the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses. I don’t think this is unreasonable to ask and should be something the bridesmaid expects. If she doesn’t have the money for the dress and you can’t afford it either, then she should back out of your wedding gracefully. As for the other problems you have had, not everyone is going to be able to attend every wedding related event or stick to your timeline of when things are supposed to happen. I suggest being more lenient with these issues, although I don’t think you need to put up with disrespect either. It sounds like she doesn’t want to be a part of the wedding anymore. 

Post # 6
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

At this point, she hasn’t ordered her dress or done anything for you, so I would cut her. Stop contacting her about everything. When she finally gets around to ordering the dress and realizes that she can’t, she’ll probably come to you. Just let her know that you couldn’t wait on her any longer and she knew when the dresses had to be ordered by. 

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

First off, I’m really proud of you for making her step down as Maid/Matron of Honor. I’m actually shocked she still wants to be in your bridal party. With that being said, you should ask her to not be in your bridal party. I’ve had my fair share of drama with my bms and I can tell you this. BMs are supposed be there to support you and HELP you. Not give you grief and start drama. They’re supposed to help relieve your stress, not cause you stress!

Post # 8
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If they aren’t beneficial to you or helping you out in any way, then why have them??

Um…because you want your closest friends standing next you you on your wedding day. I’m surprised you even feel the need to ask, is that a real question?

Yeah, she’s been an idiot – but if her selfish behavior is a sudden change, I’d be wondering what’s going on that is causing her to act this way. If she’s always that way, well then, I don’t know why you asked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, her personality isn’t going to change for your wedding.

But you need to loosen up a bit – you sound like you’re talking about employees in certain parts of this post, not your friends. Maybe it’s just because you’re frusturated, but the part about how ‘they KNOW what you expect of them’ and about you excusing one from attending an event…it sounds like something my supervisor would say at work, not something I’d say about a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

If she doesn’t order the dress then she can’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, so your problem will solve itself.

Post # 9
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@MsNarwhal:

amen to that.  i think there is a Bridezilla in our midst.

the title of this thread is awful,  you’re actually beginning to HATE  your bridemaid?  then wonder why she wont comply……..

in all the weddings i have been to, the bride…(myself included)  buys the dresses.  i feel that this is how it should be if you want them to wear a certain dress for YOUR  day. 

heres a suggestion…..read this thread

They’re bridesmaids, NOT slaves! (Verrrrry long)

 

Post # 10
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it would be best to ask her to step down from the wedding party in order to selvage your relationship with her. 

You obviously care about her otherwise you wouldn’t have chosen her as your Maid/Matron of Honor to begin with and so I think even though you are probably beyond stressed about the wedding it might be time to just sit down with her and talk it out.

 

Post # 11
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@Vintage-me: In the US it is completely normal and 100% expected for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, so I disagree with you on that point.

Post # 13
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This part made me cringe a little . . . “I excused the Bridesmaid or Best Man that lives 3 hours away from attending.”

Post # 14
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

View original reply
@Natalieh86: i actually laughed

Post # 16
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@lovesgerdie08: Ah okay, that does make more sense.  I was picturing more of an excused absence from school with a doctor’s note.  

The topic ‘I’m starting to hate one of my bridesmaids’ is closed to new replies.

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