Post # 1
I just need to vent because I’m pretty stressed about our current situation at times. Since I’m pregnant, I actually try to not think about it too much so I don’t get too stressed out for her sake. But at the same time, I have all these hormones working against me plus I’ve always been a planner and needed to know what was going to happen.
I won’t go into details but he’s not happy at work. It’s a little more than just not being happy but he needs to start exploring other options. If there’s anyway he can get a different job, it’d be much better and while it seems like he could wait until after she’s born (I’m due in July and have had a perfectly healthy pregnancy), there is a chance that him being off when she comes could complicate things further.
He could possibly get a similar job where we are currently. But he has applied for jobs elsewhere too. I’m not stressed about him not having a job, I’m more stressed about the uncertainty and the moving. I’ve gone through 32 weeks of pregnancy with a doctor I like and a hospital to deliver at that I’m certain would fit with what we want. Plus, we have an offer in on a short sale but we do have a way to back out (as much as that would suck, we’ve been waiting since January).
The jobs he’s applied for elsewhere though, are back near our families. They also pay more so we’d have a cheaper standard of living with possibly twice the pay. This would be a great situation but I’m so worried about having to more or less just hope whatever doctor I pick is good for the last month or so. I’ve done okay finding hospitals in these locations so I could probably branch out to find a doctor that way (it’s not near enough to our families to get referrals on doctors/hospitals).
I told him I’d like to move by 35-36 weeks because it’s a long drive (he’ll be driving but it’s about 22 hours straight through then add in stopping for me to walk around and for our pets to be able to get out of the car for a minute). I’m going to talk to my doctor about the issues surrounding driving that far that late at my appointment this week. He should know this week if we’re moving though. I just really want to know what’s going to happen so everything can be done and settled and I can stop stressing.
Post # 3
I’m going to bump this because it’s still bothering me. Has anyone had to go through anything similar?
Post # 4
Sorry for all the stress – but it sounds like a great opportunity for your husband and a chance to be closer to family!
As for the travel if it all DOES happen – just go into it with a ‘we’re not in a hurry attitude’. If it takes you 3 days to drive 22 hours – it may take 3 days. Wear compression socks…. drink lots of water…. and stop every 90 minutes or so to pee and walk around. If you feel yourself swelling or becoming really uncomfortable – take a longer stop.
For me I would be MUCH more stressed about MOVING all the STUFF. But again – I’d outsource what you can to keep your stress and activity level to a minimum and just do what you have to do.
I’d possibly work on a birthplan now (what you desires are) so you have that done and ready to review with any possible providers if you do move. That way you’ll be able to find someone who is inline with your beliefs around child birth. I’m sure you can find some folks in the hive with connections to area that can give you referrals.
Post # 5
Sorry you are going through this! Are you sure he can’t hang in there at his current job and take advantage of any family leave or built up vacation time? You often have to work somewhere for a while before you get those benefs so just a thought to use them first while he is on the hunt.
Any update on whether he has an offer from anyone yet or is he just starting to apply?
I completely understand your stress and think you can talk to your husband about trying to negotiate a later start date or if this is absolutely necessary right now. Maybe he is just freaking out and this is something you can plan for in the near future after the baby is born.
Best of luck!!
Post # 6
@babycrz: I did already tell my husband that we’ll have to stop fairly often even if it’s just for me to walk around. I didn’t even think about the compression socks but I’ll have to look into them if we are moving.
My husband also said he’d do most of the packing and would definitely hire a moving truck to move everything for us.
Also, my doctor told me I could bring her a birth plan this week to talk about so I figured this is an even better reason to do that. I figure if we need to move, I’ll map out a hospital every two to three hours along the way just in case and make sure the birth plan is available. Plus it’ll be great to give a new doctor since they’ll only be seeing me for a few weeks. Finding a hospital so far in some of the locations he’s talked about has been hard because of the general differences between regions as well as just urban/rural areas. I also figured I’d talk to her about the whole situation and hopefully I’ll be able to find a good doctor if we’re moving soon after he gets a job so that my current doctor’s office can coordinate transferring all my records.
I guess for the most part, I just want to know what I need to be doing. If I can find a good hospital and doctor, my main issue is just getting there without any problems. It’s definitely not ideal to move right now but I also know his work situation is far from ideal. And I keep reminding myself that if everything goes well and we make it down there, it’ll be awesome to surprise our moms.
Post # 7
@mjameson83: He has no offers or calls right now but he just applied Friday. However, everything was listed as an immediate need and one was only posted for a week because they need someone so soon. I did tell him I don’t really feel comfortable moving past 36 weeks. It’s possible it’d be fine to stay but there’s also a possibility that everything could go wrong even in this short amount of time. We’ll just see what happens and hopefully know by Friday what’s going on.