I'm stressed out because "I'm not excited enough"!

posted 4 months ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee

sunburn :  I see nothing wrong with what you said. I’m actually really confused why the other bees here are attacking you. Maybe something happened on another thread? Sorry to derail.

Post # 18
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

DeniseSecunda :  “Hahaha, pile on indeed!”

How is your flip response to my post not considered harsh and nasty by your standards? I expressed my opinion to you and you didn’t address any points I made and mocked my point about how it’s okay to ‘pile on’ some Bees but not others. At least hold yourself to the same standards you’re taking others to task for. 

FWIW, I don’t consider your response to me to be ‘nasty’, normally I wouldn’t have given it more than a pause- but the inconsistency and double standards here are quite evident. 

There are also several Bees in this thread who don’t agree with you and think sunburn is being unfairly attacked- does your unwillingness to own this or examine this make you a master gaslighter by your own standards? Yeah, didn’t think so. 

 

Post # 19
Member
4058 posts
Honey bee

DeniseSecunda :  

“You defining etiquette in a certain way–whether logical or not–has no bearing on other people’s behavior. If they don’t see things the way you happen to see them, then they won’t behave the way you’d like. 

In the end, that’s on you and anyone else who didn’t behave assertively and clarify that this is an adults-only affair. You can pull your hair out all day trying to convince the rest of us that THEY’RE being rude for not clarifying the invitees, but what diffence does it make? The fact remains that you screwed up. You should’ve just been honest right away””

 

This is what you wrote to a poster 12 hours ago. Hypocritical much? And when the OP clarified that she had been “honest right away” you were noticeably silent, as were the moderators. But some posters are different from other posters, I guess. 

Post # 20
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

sunburn :  Good catch, but not surprising.  I saw a post from her in another recent thread where the OP’s fiance just walked out on her and her baby- and Denise’s  supposedly compassionate, non-nasty response was to tell the OP to ask herself how she let herself  get pregnant ouf of wedlock in the first place. Of course if you had said this, the pitchforks would be out. And it’s not, as was suggested, the way in which it was said that is the issue- both your example and the one I just gave prove this, it’s who is saying it. To quote George Orwell all animals are equal, but some shall be more equal than others. 

But then this is also the same Bee who a few months back, in a thread started by one of the nicest Bees on the site about  Bees they miss seeing here, felt the need to chime in saying some Bees add no worth to the site and aren’t missed (nasty much?) But as I said a few posts ago, the hypocrisy is rampant. 

I hope you won’t be scared away from posting honest truths, your advice has undoubtedly helped a number of people and truly seems to have good intentions. 

 

Post # 21
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Betyl: I hope you got through it ok! I felt this way about my wedding- it was stressful, and it was sort of…a thing we did for other people? Parts of the day were lovely, but being responsible for so much took a toll. At the end of the reception I was just DONE. I think its ok not to feel the way you’re “supposed” to feel about weddings- its a lot. 

Post # 22
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I wanted to elope and we didn’t. Still had a wedding. I felt the same. Just blah and whatever. I only got nervous when walking down the aisle and saying vows because I don’t like having intimate moments like that in front of a ton of ppl. 

We only had 6 months to plan and I probably did most of it in a month. In the end I didn’t care either if the wedding was boring or not elaborate enough. Its ok to not be over the moon. It isn’t my thing either. I am usually anxiety ridden and yet I didn’t worry. Even when everything was ruined the day before the wedding that was setup (bad weather)! I was like… oh well… trek on! Haha.

I guess my point is its ok. Its going to be ok. 

All I was excited about was the honeymoon. It was our first international trip together. I look foward to adventures and the memories that are involved… not wedding shenanigans. To each his own! 

Over all I am more excited about the adventures, starting a family (scary at the same time), and creating our own traditions. 

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