(Closed) I’m struggling with some personality flaws..help!! (long)

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh, SweetRose πŸ™‚ First off, kudos to you for identifying your strengths and opportunities for personal growth.

We can only be who we are and accept ourselves, flaws and all. You can temper your personality to fit a situation in the short term, but changing for the long term is very difficult.

It’s been over 30 years and I’m finally learning that I’m not the extrovert I’ve worked so hard to portray myself as. Now I recognize that I am introverted and that it’s okay. I’m much gentler on myself with this realization and appreciate how this makes me comfortable and uncomfortable. I share this with you only to suggest that with understanding comes peace.

My Maid/Matron of Honor and my Fiance are both ‘live wires’ and I would not describe them as defective. They give me balance, keep me out in the world and remind me to keep a positive attitude and have fun. They are my secret weapons, they keep a party going, excel at chit chat, and are approachable and open. I see you as falling into this category as well!

Focus on your positives and use them to your advantage. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on this stuff through my work in sales, let me know if you want some suggestions πŸ™‚

Post # 5
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Well all have our things. Don’t stress about this too much, all you can do is your best. There will be slip ups sometimes.

Post # 6
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I totally agree on your live-wire tendancies NOT being a defect!

Firstly, I think the best thing you can do is try to always be polite. You might talk a million miles an hour, and be a bit over-the-top, but if you never cross the line of being truly rude and abrasive, people can’t really have any personal “beef” with you.

You sound a LOT like my sister actually, & she is super fun to be around! Only she hasn’t learned to be polite so much (NOT saying you are this way, I just don’t know), and she often says things that are inappropriate for time and place, and just doesn’t really have a stitch of grace to her at all!

I loveeee optimism, and excitement, and even bousterous people, but remember that it sometimes crosses a line of being just plain… obnoxious?

Best of luck!

Post # 7
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: Sorry, dear! I had to take a bit of a wedding break, but I’m always here for you πŸ™‚ You know how to find me, haha!

Two books that you can totally check out from the library – “The Personality Code” and “Strengthsfinder 2.0”  They both help you learn that you are not flawed and by understanding your own outcomes and how they play with others, you can approach and navigate situations with strength and poise. Lemme know what you think πŸ™‚

Post # 8
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Are we twins? I’m loud, boisterous, dramatic for comedic effect and have little to no filter. And I’ve also found myself in the situation of wanting to move forward, but having little bits of my personality hold me back.

My personality shift–professionally at least–came after a similar situation as yours. My boss basically told me that even though I out performed most of my team at the time, I wasn’t going to get where I wanted until I reigned in my personality a little bit. After that I  became a lot more aware of what was about to come out of my mouth, and started to be a lot less reactionary. I don’t have any great, earth shattering advice, but what I would do, and still do now, was when I was about to blow about something was to walk away and put myself in a situation where I didn’t have to talk to anyone until I calmed myself down. I’ve spent plenty of time hiding out in a bathroom stall until I felt calm enough to professionally address a situation, and sent many a ranting texts to Fiance from the same stall, lol.

ETA: I’m actually trying to find something on google for you, similar to a training I had at work. It teaches about different personalities and the best way to relate to people. It tought me not only about other’s personalities, but a lot about my own as well. Not that you need to change your personality by any means, but it might help.

Post # 9
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Your personality shines through in the ten million threads you start on here each day πŸ˜‰

I don’t think there are enough “bubbly” people in the world. Half the time I end up saying hello to my cashier where ever I’m shopping because if I don’t I don’t hear a peep from them. I know their job isn’t the greatest… but it’s basic customer interaction that you’ll need for ANY job! Sheeesh! πŸ™‚

Post # 11
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I personally like people like that! You sound fun to be around.

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