(Closed) I'm that MOH who dropped out right before the wedding

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You did the right thing. She sounds like a terrible friend but the whole issue that she wasn’t willing to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, but you were going thru hell to be hers – that’s the line in the sand. 

Im not sure why you even had this person in your life at all after college. It obviously would have been better had you never agreed to be her Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place, but it seems like you did it trying to be a good friend, something she wasn’t willing to do for you. 

Post # 4
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

What a doozy of a human! Congrats on getting out of that mess!

Post # 5
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

What a nightmare.   Be thankful you got out of that one.

Post # 6
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MsLabRat:  I can’t believe you tolerated her behavior for so long. You’re too good of a person to even ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor after all that. Stay away from her. My Maid/Matron of Honor did me wrong and I dropped her. 

Post # 7
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would say, “Run!” but you already ran so good job. You shouldn’t ever have anyone that toxic in your life.

Post # 8
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well! First off, let me compliment your writing! Most long posts aren’t so readable, so kudos. It flowed very well.

It’s a bummer that it didn’t work out, but I think it’s important to have rules for what you won’t tolerate. I would have done the same thing. Complaining about being your Maid/Matron of Honor, when you are CURRENTLY DOING IT FOR HER?? Not cool.

Post # 9
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MsLabRat:  You definitely did the right thing and I’m glad you guys aren’t friends anymore because this A sounds like a pretty unstable person. It’s nice to get the other perspective on this issue that a lot of bees have faced. There are two sides to every story and a lot of the time when bees are looking for sympathy over awful MOHs who suddenly quit, I get the feeling there is definitely a whole lot they aren’t telling us. 

Post # 10
1797 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had a terrible bridesmaid who did some awful things and was finally sent home the day before the wedding.  Now my gut reaction was to blame her but my truly awesome Maid/Matron of Honor made me face that I had chosen this gal even knowing all the terrible things she had done over the years and then was surprised when she pulled crap at the wedding.  It took awhile but I finally got what my Maid/Matron of Honor was saying and I agree with her.  Some people are just toxic and it takes strength to walk away…esapecially after years of trying to make something work.  Glad you got out…it has to be for the best!

Post # 11
2037 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Good for you for getting out of this friendship. I know I have friends in my past that I waited too long to let go of. Use this as a lesson for the future.

Post # 12
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MsLabRat:  Without question, you did the right thing! Good for you! Enjoy YOUR wedding, free of toxic, selfish people

Post # 13
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I’m so glad you posted this. A cautionary tale.

Muah. Love u girl.

Post # 15
12 posts
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s probably something you should have done a long time ago.

Post # 16
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Lord, if I ever behaved this appalingly I would hope that one of my girls would take me out back behind the oak tree and shoot me in the forehead.

You did the right thing and you don’t need people like that in your life. Props to you for tolerating it for so long and trying to do the right thing. But people like that just have no sense of gratitude or appreciation. You’re better off without her.

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