- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I told this story to the NYC bees and was reprimanded for not sharing because it is all so ridiculous, so here it goes. Names changed, though details would make it very obvious who I am and who she is and I don’t give a cold fuck. This has also turned into a novel and I apologize, but I promise it is absurd.
I was asked to be my friend A’s co-MOH. The other Maid/Matron of Honor was our mutual bestie from college B who I adore. The three of us have been friends for about 8 years, but started out as college drinking buddies. The type that leaves you puking in a bathroom stall to go home with a random guy they just met kinda drinking buddies.
Background: I can’t say we have had the best relationship since we left college either. We ended up in the same city right after graduating and had so much fun being single together, but whenever she wouldn’t get her was I was always a “wet blanket”. I moved away and met my current Fiance and was so eager for him to meet her. We go to stay with her and she plans a meet up with all her friends from the area we don’t know. We hang for awhile, but its his first time in DC and I want to show him the national mall and let my friend know we will be right back. She of course leaves the bar while we are gone and locks us out of her apartment and we can’t get a hotel room anywhere due to it being cherry blossom festival time so we end up having to crash at my ex’s place. My Fiance was not her biggest fan after that.
We didn’t talk for a little while but then things fell back into place and we planned to go to Atlantic City for my 25th b-day. She cancelled that weekend and I was footed with the hotel bill. One of the next times we tried to hang out I brought my closest friend from NYC to stay at her and her current BF’s apartment. She breaks up with him hours before we get there and we spend the rest of the weekend stealing her possesions out of their apartment so that he doesn’t destroy them (she was worried he might find out that she had been cheating on him). New plan is to stay with our mutual friend. We all go drinking together and she tells us we aren’t allowed to eat dinner unless it is standing at the bar, so my friend and I leave and eat a meal. She then locks us out of our new place to stay because we decided to go eat instead of staying to drink more.
Wedding: Less than a year later she is engaged and I am thrilled for her. I think because she is such a hot mess that this is going to be the most awesome laid back wedding ever. For some reason she doesn’t have many female friends and asks me to be one of her Maid/Matron of Honor. She tells us that we are all going to get to pick our own dresses and have so much fun. Wrong.
She falls in love with a pencil skirted Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and we find out its discontinued but its A-line cousin is still around. Me and the other Maid/Matron of Honor buy it and offer to get it altered into a pencil skirt for her. She flips out because she doesn’t want us to alter it, even though its what we thought she wanted and accuses us of “not liking the dress” and “causing drama”. Bitch please, you were obsessed with the pencil one, we are just trying to make you happy.
Because A’s relationship had started as a result of cheating on her live in boyfriend, there wasn’t a lot of trust in her current relationship with her Fiance. She started freaking out that her Fiance might go see strippers and just cannot get into the idea of a bachelorette party, because she didn’t want him to have a bachelors party. They decide to have a joint bachelor-bachelorette so the trust thing isn’t an issue. They want a beach house in OBX for a weekend. Except rentals aren’t for a weekend, but are only available for a week and a groomsmen informs them of this. A then has a break down because the bridal party “isn’t being supportive” and “is just mad because they want to go see strippers” even though its a logistics issue. I do all this leg work and find them a bunch of week long rental options (even though we would only be going Thurs-Sunday) and they decide to pick the house to “eliminate drama”. They pick the most expensive house of course and everyone is unhappy because now we are obligated to bring our SOs (who all don’t like her) and it will be 400+ a couple. Once again we are accused of causing problems and I am accused of misrepresenting it because they were willing to pay their own way. Sorry babe but a 4000 dollar house divided by 20 people instead of 18 is not much of a difference. (In the end a cheaper house was decided upon and half the people bailed on it including me because I had dropped out at this point). The couple ended up going to the house early, even though they insisted that we only go Thursday-Sunday, taking advantage of a little vacay for themselves on everyone else’s dime.
During this time I got engaged and was worried she wasn’t going to be supportive. I asked her to be my matron of honor, with my close NYC friend as my maid of honor because I knew that it would be the end of our relationship if I didn’t. Her first time visiting after my engagement we go to brunch with my bridesmaids and she tells one of them how much she HATED them when she first met them. The first time they met my Bridesmaid or Best Man was dressed in a sexy costume and A was worried that her Fiance would flirt with her and try to cheat on her. My Bridesmaid or Best Man ends up crying after being told how much she was hated.
A few weeks later I have a crafting party with all of A’s other bridesmaids to make decorations for A’s upcoming bridal shower. We can’t stop talking about how horrible A has been and how unhealthy A and her Fiance relationship is. I realize if I feel this way I probably should step down, but I really don’t want to be that girl and let her down and really struggle with this decision.
Until I find out A sent a text message to B, who is also my bridesmaid, that says she has “Noooooo desire to be my MOH”. I confront her about it, she makes it all about her wedding, and not about our friendship at all. I drop out 1.5 months before the wedding, the week of the bachelor/ette. I still feel like an asshole for being that horrible Maid/Matron of Honor, but I am starting to realize she really was toxic.