(Closed) I'm the anti-bridezilla, and that's apparently a bad thing?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SarahTee:  Haha. You’re like me – some people have been asking me the weirdest questions and I’m just like “Eh whatever, I’m all good with anything…?”

My fiance keeps telling me it’s “my” day and I shouldn’t give a stuff about anyone else but myself, not even HIM – it’s crazy! Doesn’t help that I’m usually indecisive about most things and not very good at being assertive with people πŸ˜›

Post # 4
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SarahTee: This cracked me up – I’m the same…so many things I’m like “meh!”… I feel like I just want people to have a great time, do what they want to do and I don’t want to be baby sitting anyone!  Even my Bridesmaid or Best Man are asking me what I’m thinking for their hair… I keep saying I don’t mind if they continue to cut it short – we will work it all out closer to the date!  The cooler we stay the better.

My mum asked me for permission to wear a pant suit the other day rather than a skirt because she doesn’t want to show off her legs… I’m like “yes mum of course you can wear whatever you want!”

Post # 5
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SarahTee:  Lol, I was like this throughout planning as well πŸ™‚ Guests would call to ask how I wanted their hair or BMs would ask what lip color I thought they should have and my response was always, “what works for you will work for me!” 

I am not a pushy person and didn’t have a strong opinion over anything I wasn’t paying for 

Post # 6
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I fit in this category! πŸ™‚

I have one bridesmaid who got huffy that I said I would like each of them to wear nude shoes (anything…sandals, flats, whatever…just nude), but made a big deal wanting to know what kind of jewelry they all needed to wear. What :S…wear whatever you want!

My family luckily hasn’t asked about outfits, but when they do…”ummm something not too hot or too impractical, it is at a lake” will probably be the answer they get.

My sister was telling me how she doesn’t know if she should trust her friend to attend the wedding and play my entrance song. I just said whatever…I can buy an instrumental version, or the version with words for all I care. I just like the song so that is why I want to walk in to it. She keeps saying but it would be so nice if we can play it for you….I just said whatever don’t stress out it really doesn’t matter at all.

Post # 7
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@SarahTee:  I think it just goes to show what the norm obviously is. Unfortunately I don’t think that is a good thing but I do think it is great you are being a laid back bride. I was a laidback bride (my Brother-In-Law even announced he was getting married 10 days later at our honeymoon site and we didn’t care) and I had 0 troubles. I read things on here and I think WOW!

Post # 8
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You sound as if you have a fine attitude towards what can be the madness of a wedding! However, there are people who really struggle without something to stress about – my SIL is one of them! – and I think you just have to reiterate your point of view. That you are happy for people to make their own choices about outfits because actually, it is getting married that is the most important factor, not teeny, tiny, unecessary details about the wedding.

Post # 9
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

When they say “tell us what you want” – they aren’t really saying, tell us what you want. They are asking: “What will your family think is appropriate?” 

IT is especially important to grandmothers (in my experience) that they look “right”, that they fit with the other matriarchs around them. It is important to their daughters that their mothers are dressed in the same vein as the other mothers. If my grandmother was still alive she would insist on knowing all of the details of my other grandmother’s dress. And even though she would grip about it being long or short or whatever and not what she “wanted” she would still wear a dress to match because she can’t be “out done” by the other.

It’s weird and may seem petty but it’s important to them that they are accepted by the “other side” and not seen as too formal or not formal enough.

In some ways giving them too much freedom is just plain mean. Their heads explode. πŸ˜›

The ” key is getting a workout tonight.  


Post # 10
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I was like this too – take heart! I wouldn’t change my approach if I were able to go back and do it again. I found myself saying “I trust you” a lot during the wedding process – to the vendors, to my family when they asked me about what to wear, and when the guest list drama came, I invited the extra people because it was important to the people who were requesting it, and it turned out wonderfully! To be candid, there were a couple of things that I had strong opinions on – I didn’t want to wear a “bridal” gown, there was a song I really wanted for the processional, and I insisted on a certain officiant. Other than that, I didn’t see the need to bridezilla out at any point…I waited for something to make me feel that way….but it never happened. My wedding was perfect! Don’t worry, just rest easy (and feel better from that flu!)  and know that when something comes along that you do have a strong opinion about, everyone will be happy to accomodate you πŸ™‚

Post # 11
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

@Everdeen:  +1! Sometimes it is just mean to not give them a real answer. I fall into this category of not caring. My mom is very concerned about having the same style as his mom, not over dressing or underdressing. She gets pretty stressed about it so to relieve her stress I told her that she should wear a short formal dress and will help her shop. Do I really care if she wears short or long or satin or cotton? Nope. Not in the slightest. But it helps to calm her fears if I say I do and since I don’t care, I don’t mind picking a random one to calm her down. My advice, be happy they’re putting in the effort and just give them a solid answer, doesn’t matter what answer, just give them one. They’ll be happier and stop bugging you, which will hopefully make you happier too! πŸ™‚

Post # 12
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@SarahTee:  We are the new versions of the LBB— laid back bride! Just be careful, because me not being obsessed with details has made me experience a couple of “uh ohs” that made me slightly crazy and mad at myself for screwing up. A couple times just wanting to get something done and not obsess about it actually created more work for me to do in the long run.

Post # 14
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m like you too!  My younger sister who is my Maid/Matron of Honor at some point told me, “you are the most undemanding bride ever.”

But quite honestly, I really don’t care what my Maid/Matron of Honor wears, what the Bridesmaid or Best Man wears, what their hair & makeup is like, whether the ceremony music will be perfect, etc – “perfect” is so subjective anyways.  I didn’t want to stress myself out or anyone else out over small things like dress color or shirt material – I just want myself and everyone else to enjoy the day!

Hm, maybe that’s more demanding than wanting a specific dress color. :p

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