(Closed) I’m the maid of honor & my boyfriend is not invited to the wedding

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think it’s rude. I’m having a small wedding on a tight budget and only married or engaged couples get to bring dates. One of my maids of honor has a long term boyfriend, but since they don’t meet the rule, he’s not invited. It’s your friend’s wedding and she gets to set the guest list, the end.

Post # 48
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t care what the “rule” is for wedding guests in general, if they’re in the wedding party, they get a date. It’s disgusting to me to think that it’s OK for the wedding party to spend money on the dress, tux, bach party, showers, accomodations, etc, etc, etc and that the bride and groom can’t even spring for ONE plate for a guest. Who cares if you’re in an open relationship or if you are married or if you bring a random?

I mean, you have to decide whether it’s worth the arguement, but it’s incredibly rude of her.. And you should at least consider that as you move forward with the friendship after the wedding.

If you’re like my bridesmaids, your expenses probably look something like this:

  • Bridesmaid dress: $125, alterations $75 (and up)
  • Hair and nails (optional, but you’ll prob do) $100
  • Hotel for at least two nights: $400
  • Flight: $300
  • Meals/snacks outside of the wedding for the weekend $50
  • Gift $100+
  • Shower (planning, plus gift) $100
  • Bachelorette party $300

(Other bee’s, hold off on your attack. Obviously gift, shower, bach party, and hair/nails are all optional.. But my bm’s have opted to do them, so it’s a realistic picture. And I really appreaciate it and CAN’T WAIT to do it all for them.)

So, if you’re like my BM’s, you’re spending WELL over $1k on her wedding. She should be able to spring for your guest, whoever it may be… Even if the place is small and its $300 a plate.

Good luck. (Sorry, on a rant. One too many self-centered bride encounters…)

Post # 49
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

OP – are you engaged?  Your profile shows a wedding date of December 2011.  If you’re engaged, regardless of whether you’re in an open relationship, wouldn’t being engaged be enough for your friend?

Post # 50
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Why is this chick your best friend if she’s passing judgement on YOUR lifestyle? It’s none of her business what goes on behind closed doors in your home but she’s got something to say about it? Insane. Honestly, because she’s being so judgemental and catty, I would bring him anyway. She is EXTREMELY rude for telling you whom you can or cannot bring as a guest. She doesn’t seem like the type that has enough nerve just come up to him and say “Ummm, I didn’t invite you. Please leave” 

Post # 50
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Why is this chick your best friend if she’s passing judgement on YOUR lifestyle? It’s none of her business what goes on behind closed doors in your home but she’s got something to say about it? Insane. Honestly, because she’s being so judgemental and catty, I would bring him anyway. She is EXTREMELY rude for telling you whom you can or cannot bring as a guest. She doesn’t seem like the type that has enough nerve just come up to him and say “Ummm, I didn’t invite you. Please leave” 

Post # 51
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree bridal party should get to bring a date. She is your friend, and I think you should talk again.. Im sorry she is passing judgement but I agree its prolly just a hard lifestyle change to wrap your mind around when she is getting married.

Post # 52
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Amy285: Just curious if you were able to talk to your friend about bringing your date?  

I know some of the bees would be mad, but I am a bride who is not allowing my Maid/Matron of Honor to bring her bf.  I think my reasoning is completely different but I would try to understand why your significant other is not invited.  

My sister who is my Maid/Matron of Honor just recently threatened to not be in my wedding because her bf wasn’t invited and I’m still trying to weight out my options at this point.  

If this bride is one of your best friends, I would really try talking to her about her reasoning.  Just out of curiosity….do you hang out as a group with you, your partner, and your friend?  Has she ever said anything about disapproving your bf?  

I hope everything works out.  As a bride, I was very honest with my Maid/Matron of Honor as to why her bf wasn’t invited….I felt awful and still do feel awful but I felt like I needed to stand my ground with her (he is abusive and possibly a druggy).  

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